My Baby's Butt

Ok, I love my baby's ass.

I swear, it's her cutest body part. She runs around the house naked sometimes - it's a game we call "Naked Baby: - and I look at her little bum and I'm like "yum." (hey, that rhymes!)

Every day I ask The Dictator, "Can I bite your butt?" Ususally, she says yes. Then she makes me bite the other cheek. Sometimes she even says, "Bite my butt!"

There's just something about baby's bums and thighs that I just want to....bite!

I'm pretty sure there's no etiquette out for asking my friend's if I can bite their baby's bums. But sometimes I do.

My friend Kama's 7 month-old son, North, is at that chunky monkey stage....that stage where they blow up because they're eating a lot but not crawling or walking yet. And I just want to squeeze him all over. His cheeks are so puffy that I kept poking them. Then Kama took North away from me.

Now, while I think it's more than ok for me to nibble on my own baby's ass, I don't like when other babies want to nibble on me.

One of The Fiance's colleagues son was at this awful licking stage, and would like everything and everybody - including me.

I'm not sure there's any etiquette either for telling a person you really don't really know all that well, "Can you please tell your son to stop licking me, because it's grossing me out."

So I told her son to lick The Dictator instead.

Anyway, back to The Dictator's perfect ass. I always want to take pictures of her ass, but don't. Because I wouldn't want any body at, let's say, at Kodack, to think that I'm, you know, as weirdo.

I wish my ass was as cute as The Dictator's.