Rebecca Eckler is one of Canada's most talked about newspaper columnists, the author of Knocked Up: Confessions of a Hip Mother to Be, which has been translated into nine languages. Also the author of the bestsellers, Wiped!, Toddlers Gone Wild, and Rotten Apple, the first in a YA series. Random thoughts on life in the competitive world of modern mommyhood. Blog will be loved by trendy mothers who still feel, or often feel, that the most important word in "mommee" is ME!

Thursday, May 25, 2006

Cat Fight Part Deux - Meow!! Scratch!!

A couple days ago I wrote about a pathetic freelance writer, in Canada, who criticized me in a city newspaper for working and having a nanny. You can look at the post below called, "Fight! Fight! Fight!"

It just keeps getting better and better. Or more pathetic. I'm not sure which.

I had all but forgotten about the freelancer whose name I've forgotten. Linda..Lydia..Nitpick....littlepick...littleprick. Whatever.

In fact, last night I was at a charity dinner, sitting beside an olympic gold medalist, having a grand ole time. I just love Olympians. To me, they are idols.

Whenever I get to meet one, I just smile and smile and smile. And I asked this Gold Medal winner important questions too, like, "How did your wife react when she saw you win?" (She bawled.) And, "Who are you rooting for on American Idol?" (He had the McFever.)

Then, this morning, I took The Dictator to her music class, and we had a grand ole time. (Because, yes, people with nannies still do take their children to class.)

And then....

I turned on my e-mail, only to find requests to be interviewed on television and radio. Oh-my-god-isn't-that-so-cool?

Ahhhh, I love when the true colors of people really come out. I knew it was just a matter of time before this dear Freelancer Writer's true motivation came through. I knew it would. The gal doesn't have an original bone in her body, so it's no surprise.

It turns out Freelance Writer has been telling all the producers she knows about her little spat with me. Because everyone loves a good cat fight, the producers would like me to go on air with her to debate the whole stay-at-home vs. working mother thing.

(The problem is, unlike Freelancer, I don't care what women choose to do. As long as they're happy with their choice, I'm happy for them.)

In fact, it was little nitpick whatever her name is, suggesting that this debate continue on radio and television.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

You want to step outside Freelancer? You want a piece of me? Oooh, I'm so scared. Actually, she could probably sit on me and I'd die.

(Plus, I'm more of a make love not war person...anyhoo.)

Of course I wrote back to the producers (some of whose shows I do listen to and watch) that even if they paid me a million dollars I wouldn't go on air with Freelance Writer whatever-her-name is.

Unlike you dear Freelance Writer, I don't need the publicity. Unlike you, I don't have to go to the media to prove myself. Why?

Because, unlike you, I am completely comfortable with my choice to have a nanny and go to work. I don't have to sell my side of the argument.

(So why do I blog about it? Because it's my blog and people can come visit or not. It's their choice. I haven't gone out begging people to read me, unlike you dear freelancer who is out begging to get some air-time...with me. Oh, by the way, HI FREELANCER!! I know you're here!)

I find it hilarious that this Freelance Writer, who professes that she's such a hands-on mother, not only has enough time to check her e-mail five thousand times a day (Are you feeling a little disconnected all there by yourself?) but also has enough time to tell anyone who will listen about her spat with me.

And then beg them to ask me on air with her and then find the time to do these shows. So, what you're saying Freelance Writer, is that it's not okay to work, but it's ok to go on television and radio shows? Pathetic.

Dear Freelancer, I like going on television. I love radio. But, sorry, no. You'll have to find another wagon to hitch your star to. (Or is that hitch your wagon to another star? Whatever. Stop using my name to get publicity, is what I'm trying to say.)

You see, unlike you, Dear Freelancer, I'm actually living my life, supporting worthwile charities, and meeting actual people who work hard for the pride of their country. Oh, and spending time with my child.

I will never go on air with you. Ever.

I know this is probably the most exciting thing that has ever happened to you. But I have to go wash my hair.


Blogger Cindy said...

haahaaahaaa that is so funny. People can be so pathetic sometimes. she'll probably hate you even more now for not doing as she has wanted to.

I wish you'd post the emails from her so we can all laugh at the hilarity of Freelancer.

1:47 PM

Blogger Foodmomiac said...

What a bitch. Good on you for turning down the "publicity."

1:51 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

love it

1:56 PM

Anonymous Crysta said...

You rock!

I loved the "Fight! Fight! Fight!" post - you said all the things that I want to say to every Mom who has every judged me because I love my kids AND my job!!

And I especially love that you won't go on air with this woman!! A mature and intelligent decision from someone who has the guts to be honest about the challenges of parenting as well as your hangups and imperfections as a Mother.

In all aspects, right down to having a nanny, your brand of honesty serves your daughter very well! Good for you!!

2:48 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

this seems overly mean to me, especially the part about her sitting on you. kind of high school, isn't it? why stoop to her level? take the high road.

2:51 PM

Blogger pmb said...

The FREELANCER is an idiot. As a mother of three (7,5 and 10 months) I pray to the nanny gods everynight for them to send me one of their nice, but not very attractive (don't want a Jude Law thing happening) nanny angels to my doorstep. Just because you've added mom to your resume, didn't mean you gave up YOU.


3:58 PM

Blogger stkitts said...

Bravo! That was fabulously written. :)

You live the life that I'm sure plenty of people would love - take her attempt to (star,wagon,hitch,etc) as flattery. :)

4:01 PM

Blogger Maddie's Mom said...

YOU ROCK! Keep living your life on the high road!

I would love to band together to boycott her publications etc but it really doesnt seem that she has anything worth while on the go...

4:17 PM

Blogger Irish Eyes said...

Your Dictator is going to turn out so much cooler than her kids, too. They're probably just suggestors or democratically elected presidents or prime ministers. . . nothing really as cool as a dictator.

4:53 PM

Blogger Blog-o-licious said...

That is SO Awesome that you aren't caving into this carp! But you don't sound like the caving sort. Keep up the good work. I like reading your are funny and precise. Not the best of compliments but it's hard to gush in such a small space! :)

5:44 PM

Blogger Goo said...

The entire SAHM vs. WOHM vs. WAHM (have I forgotten any acronyms?) debate is so tired, I enjoyed a good laugh reading your deliciously vicious post. I totally agree: happy mom = happy family. We are all doing the best we can. I think Freelancer's 15 minutes of fame are up, don't you?

7:43 PM

Blogger Heather said...

I don't know you. I read your blog daily and I know you read mine. I know that I like that. I don't always agree with you (you know that). I don't always disagree (you know that too). At this point in time, I guess you could say I'm on the fence about the post at hand (never been here before, I've always been a difinitive...Yes, I totally agree or No, this womans insane).

I understand that you don't care what women choose to do, as long as they are happy with their choice. Perhaps I'm going to be the only one to say so, but I think your view is valid and valuable and I think you should discuss (not debate) the varying sides of this spectrum with littleprick.

If we continue to let people like the "FREELANCER/littleprick" do all the talking, then who knows what the fuck will happen.

Despite her motives, I think a lot of women would love to hear what you have to say regarding mothers and freedom of choice(and since this blogtroversy a lot of woman would like to see what littleprick has to say too)....a cat fight on TV...REOOOW!

7:47 PM

Blogger bubandpie said...

Okay, it all makes sense now. I didn't see the original column, but that particular Freelance Writer appears occasionally in my local newspaper and I have never yet seen a piece that wasn't palpably mean-spirited. Scary to think she's at home exposing her kids to all that poison 24-7.

8:19 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...


8:56 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I worked with said Freelancer. She is possibly the meanest person I have ever met (also, you are right about not being original.) I am so glad you wrote this post. It makes my day. If I never work with her again, it will be too soon. Thank you, Rebecca. Thank you.

1:30 AM

Blogger Rebecca said...

Best choice you could make! I read her article. Not much to it, was there? From where I sit, she appeared jealous and unhappy with her life. Absolutely no need to debate on tv... She knows she's unhappy with her choices, you know you're happy with yours - 'Nuff said.

5:32 AM

Blogger Mega Mom said...

OK, I was all set to say that it just cracks me up how much you stir the pot, but then I read the comments. I think Heather has a point.

I'm a pretty judgmental person, but I've expanded my view so much just from reading intelligently composed blog posts.

I read SO many blogs of people who I disagree with, but respect their opinions (and their humor, writing style, whatever). As I can't see you getting steamrolled (I'm quite certain you'd be the Steamroller), it might be worth a shot. Just to say "listen, people are different, they make different choices, contribute to their families and society differently, but who cares? As long as no one is getting hurt, just enjoy your little corner of the world and I'll enjoy mine."

5:39 AM

Anonymous Laura said...

While I respect your decision not to go to tails with said FreelanceWriter, I think it would have been great to hear your side of the story. :)

And the post was great. But I'd keep mum on the seventh grade remarks, the whole "if she sat on me, I'd die" or whatever. I just never believed in using "you're fat" remarks/insinuations as a kid, and certainly not as an adult. Because I can think of worse things than being fat. Much much worse. A comment like that is an empty one that just paints whoever says it as a retard. Seeing as I read your column every day, I know you're not retarded. (But I guess say "retarded" is no better than calling someone "fat". Someone? Anyone? Haha, I did have a point somewhere in all of this. . .)

Other than that, good on you for taking her down. Ugh, is this why she engaged in this debate with you in the first place? To get herself some air/radio time?

Ah! I love reading your blog!

6:27 AM


She certainly has your attention. I wonder if she's smiling when she read your blog.

6:35 AM

Anonymous Katie said...

Hi Rebecca. I think you're absolutely right not to engage any more with this person. She is looking for publicity and a podium from which to spout her views, and I don't see why you should do it, either. I don't always like/agree with everything I read here, but it's usually pretty entertaining. My daughter is almost the same age as your Dictator. Anyway, on this particular issue, I think you're totally in the right! All the best.

6:38 AM

Blogger kittenpie said...

You're prolly right, and good for you for not giving her what she wants. I think the other way to go would be go ahead and on air, you be the relaxed one that says, "Hey, if you want to stay at home, that's great. Whatever works for you." Then let her spew forth adn show what a closed-minded venomous little human she is. It's only make her look bad, don't you think?

12:14 PM

Anonymous Heather said...

So I tried to Google this article to read it and I could not find it. But I did read your article on mother's day gift ideas which I really enjoyed. Probably better reading.

The best line in this post is - "But I have to go wash my hair."

Do you mind if I use it?

5:12 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

well, if you want to get really catty, i think it's f*cking rich that she has this article about same sex marriage where she refers to homosexuals as 'gays'. who says that anymore?! and i quote: "Gays or lesbians wishing to marry would be united in a civil marriage through a justice of the peace or by a minister who is not opposed to same-sex unions." honestly. who says 'gays'. if i see a same-sex couple, i don't think let alone say 'oh there's the GAYS over there' are so so so far out of her league it's ridiculous. 'GAYS'. i still can't get over it. like they're not gay PEOPLE or homosexual PEOPLE. just 'gays'. it's almost funny it's so ridic. anyways thats my rant.

9:22 PM

Anonymous Another Rebecca said...

My kids are teenagers. Actually one is 20 and in college. One thing my friends and I have discussed in recent years is how much less judgmental we've become the longer we've been moms. I think it comes from realizing exactly how many pitfalls there are along the way.

"My child will never eat sugar." (Ha!) "Play with toy guns." (Wait 'til you have two boys 23 months apart and every carrot or stick becomes a pretend gun.) "Watch any TV but PBS." (Easy to control with a 2-year-old; harder to debate when they're 10.) "Play violent video games." (Grand Theft Auto is in our house. Bad Mom!)

I've stayed at home. Written freelance children's book reviews. Worked part-time. Worked two part-time jobs that equal more than full-time. I've spent a ton of time with my children, too. (I'll also admit to enjoying changing diapers on occasion. Those chubby little thighs!) And I have wonderful children (15, 17 and 20).

One of my most wrenching experiences was having my good (liberal) friends turn on me when I enrolled my children in a private school for gifted kids. That lasted for several years. We all stayed friends, but I had to endure some veiled comments & silence whenever I talked about my kids' school. We've through that and many other things. I just don't know why the judging had to happen in the first place. I'm sure I've been guilty of it myself.

The point is: Childhood is too short for moms to be beating up on each other. You need to trust your instincts about what's best for you, your kids and your families ... and spend your energy enjoying those little ones. They do grow up fast.

(I also think I need to tell poor Brittany Spears about the time I fell down a whole set of outdoor concrete steps while holding my 3-month-old daughter. I must have instinctively cocooned my body around hers, because I was a mess of scrapes and bruises and she didn't have a mark.)

Hang in there, Rebecca. And all of the rest of you.

(I wish Mommy blogging had been around when my kids were younger. It's a great outlet for writers with a houseful of little kids. Do any of you know of any good blogs by parents of teens? Not conservative Christian ones! I've been looking & haven't seen any yet.)

10:34 PM

Anonymous Linda S. said...

Uhhhh ... anonymous ... who says gays? That's the term the gay community prefers now ... "gays and lesbians." And the piece was in support of same-sex marriage. I don't like what she wrote about Rebecca either, but you seem to be getting bent out of shape about nothing. Take it from me -- one half of a lesbian couple, with kids!

11:40 AM

Blogger Jennifer P said...

I think one of the funniest lines that I found about her in random googling was Christ, she's such a moron. Eckler 2, FW 0.

8:24 PM

Blogger Gina said...

Fabulous Fabulous Post! Enjoying your blog.

9:41 PM

Blogger HomeFireBlue said...


Well done, Rebecca.

Oh and what's up with the 'gays' comment? WTF? My gay friends prefer that term.


11:41 AM

Blogger sunshine scribe said...

That is just the perfect follow-up to part one of this saga. This woman is too much. Good for you!

12:35 PM

Blogger Jenn said...

Nothing like telling Freelancer in your own literary way to go suck a fart!

2:38 PM

Blogger A responsible working mother said...

There seems to be an underclass of women who spend all day complaining (with very bad grammar and spelling) about working women's blog posts. I have a regular attacker named Sara who I see has also complained about you on her blog.

I finally got tired of the whole "I'm a better mom because I'm a housewife" attitude, and I'm fighting back:

8:03 AM

Blogger Her Bad Mother said...

I CANNOT believe that I missed this! CANNOT BELIEVE IT.

But you handled it so well. Good on you.

2:46 PM


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