Rebecca Eckler is one of Canada's most talked about newspaper columnists, the author of Knocked Up: Confessions of a Hip Mother to Be, which has been translated into nine languages. Also the author of the bestsellers, Wiped!, Toddlers Gone Wild, and Rotten Apple, the first in a YA series. Random thoughts on life in the competitive world of modern mommyhood. Blog will be loved by trendy mothers who still feel, or often feel, that the most important word in "mommee" is ME!

Thursday, May 18, 2006

Dear Readers...

Dear readers of ninepounddictator,

So, we've almost made the 5000 mark of readers on ninepounddictator, or so says the "profile."

I'm not sure how the "profile" thing works. Does that mean nearly 5000 different people have read ninepounddictator? Or does Blogger count all the people who look, even the regulars, every day? (Blogger man? Are you out there? Answers please, dear Blogger Man...)

In any case, it's been two months and I think I now understand this blog world. And what I want to accomplish by blogging. Or maybe I don't. What do I know? (I do know that Katherine McPhee is in the top two in American Idol and I've been rooting for her since day one! Whoopie!!!)

Anyway, I made a promise to myself that when my profile hit 5000 (only nine more people, people!) that I would ask some questions.

Because I really think I've been quite sweet on this blog, and, the truth is, sometimes I feel like being wicked. Sometimes I want to swear! (Oooohhhh)

Sometimes I really, really want to shake things up. For example, sometimes I want to respond to people who think they know me, but really don't. And I want to swear at them, because they're idiots.

For example, the reader who wrote that I used to be fat and pale. Ok, dude. You don't know me but at all!

I've never weighed more than 105 pounds in my life (except when I was pregnant, but I was pregnant, not fat!) and if I'm even in the sun for two minutes, with 45 sunblock, I turn brown. So fuck you. (Ok, did that offend anyone?)

There has been a lot of talk lately on different blogs about how to "find your voice" on your blog, and what you should and should not be writing about. For example, a lot of women question whether or not they should complain about their husbands. Personally, I love reading those blogs. But then again, I love to complain.

Sometimes, like the other day when I wrote, I feel like 'crap,' I really wanted to write, I feel like 'shit.' But I edited myself, because I didn't want to offend. Shit, I should have trusted my judgment and wrote, "I feel like shit." (Did that offend anyone?)

In America, there are a ton of bloggers who really write what they're thinking, swear like sailors, and they are hilarious. I've sort of done this so far. But have I been entirely truthful? Well, no. Because sometimes I want to swear and write what I really feel, but back off. Do you?

If anyone is reading this from The Fiance's work, please just send an anonymous e-mail, like, 'I work in the lunch room at your fiance's office and I adore your blog. I just am so fascinated to learn that he snores. I will never look at him when I serve him a wrap the same again!' If no one responds, then I will feel really really ok about writing about him (In a really nice way.)

If you are reading this, dear fiance, can you let me know? Like, tonight, just say to me, "I read your blog," and then I'll know you're reading it and that I can't blog about what you told me the other night and made me promise to never talk about, you know that thing about....joking! I'm not joking though about wanting to know if you read this. Do ya? Do ya?

Also, feel free to ask me to write about things. I often read people's blogs and write them, "Hey can you write more about the suburb you live in in LA?" Because I really, really, want to know. Or, for book reviewers who have blogs, I often ask them to review fiction books.

So, there you have it. You can ask me to write about anything, I want to swear on my blog, maybe, if I feel like it. I want to know if The Fiance is reading this, and if anyone who knows the Fiance is reading this.

I guess, I'm just trying to find out how honest is too honest on a blog. See, the blogs I like the most are the ones I feel where the blogger is being the most truthful. The funniest blogs I've read are by women who really really write what they feel.

Stay tuned. We're going hard core blogging now.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

sign up at
Then you know exactly who's reading your blog.

4:39 PM

Anonymous jenny said...

Hey rebbecca!

I have been reading your blog from the start and am captivated by it... its very addictive to see what you will write next. I am so curious to know, being a half way through university student... what was the highschool/ uni experience like for you in the ways of romance?


4:50 PM

Blogger jess said...

i think the profile just tells you how many people have viewed your actual profile, meaning that many more read your blog.

i get my numbers of readers from google's adsense program

and -um -yeah, i am getting around to that suburban L.A. post, i swear...thanks for the prompt!

5:14 PM

Blogger chichimama said...

Oh, can't wait! I love blogs like that too. I'm constrained by the fact that too many IRL folks read me, because i can't keep my mouth shut. And I live in fear of offending one of them....I keep thinking I need to start anther blog, which I swear I won't blab about. YOu'll be the first to know if I do ;-0.

5:39 PM

Blogger Gabriella said...

I know how you feel; sometimes I want to write how much my sil and bil are spoiled little children, how my husband drives me insane sometimes, how we have some crazy shit going on our street but I always think someone I know will read it!!! oh well...guess i Just posted it know ahahah
Who cares though write what you feel!!!!

6:35 PM

Anonymous Toronto Gal said...

Blogs have to be honest- if I wanted to read fake, made-up anecdotes I'd pick up a work of nonfiction. While I don't have kids, I enjoy reading your blog for your insight but also for reader reaction. I love it when people get all bent out of shape over what you write- their honest reactions are also important to post. Here's what I'd like to see you write about:
- your favourite shops in Toronto
- how to get freelance gigs
- info on your upcoming book (yay!)
- writing and career advice!

6:50 PM

Blogger Mega Mom said...

Too many people know about my blog for me to be completely honest and open. I wish I'd known that when I started.

The fun part is putting my truest thoughts in other blog's comment sections. Hopefully no one I know is reading those or I'm in trouble!

7:44 PM

Blogger Heather said...

I have a visitor counter on my blog (see very bottom of page) it lists the number of visits my blog has had (sort of). The number you have in your profile views is just that, how many people have looked at your profile. I'm sure piles of people have looked at your blog and not your profile. At least thats what I think anyways.
My blog is mainly about my son, but that doesn't mean I don't swear once in a while. Seriously....swear to your hearts content. I'd fucking love it!

7:58 PM

Blogger Maddie's Mom said...

Yeah! BRING IT ON, Blogger...!

If you want honesty-here it comes-I LOVE your writing and LOVE your blogs but am finding that your Globe and Mail articles are becoming a little too commercial...can we get a little more Rebecca and adventures with the Dictator and the Fiance, on Saturday with the latte, PLEASE? Its the only reason why I read the G&M...

The Utrasound pic on the cookies was an Aprils Fools day joke, right?

8:57 PM

Blogger Cindy said...

Oooooh! Dooo iiiiit! You know you want to swear. Seriously who cares if it offends anyone? I have a warning about my swearing in the header for my blog. I try to tone it down over at others blogs though.

Hey you cant tease us with "something I promised not to talk about, then not talk about it. That's mean. JK

And yes he LOVED my hair. Hasn't stopped calling me his beautiful blonde wife since I got back. Is kind of annoying by now.

12:03 AM

Anonymous Laura said...

I say go for it. Be honest. Be frank. Swear. After all, that's what these blogs are for.

I'm looking forward to it. :)

6:03 AM

Anonymous babycakes said...


Swearing is great, as long as its funny/smutty/girly. rocks too). Love the blog and I'm not even a mom. Topics I would like to hear you complain about :) book clubs, step parenting, botox, little dogs. THX

6:35 AM

Blogger each-day said...

I had (have) the same problem as you do (did). I started blogging and was really honest in it. As time went on I became paranoid and I deleted the blog. I have now started another one and I would love to be REALLY honest in it but so many people read blogs and even if you don't mention a persons name, if someone knows you well enough they will pick up who it is. I still try to write honestly though, I just won't be too malicious.*evil grin* Blog away.

6:38 AM

Anonymous Naomi said...

Okay, I'll play! I've been reading for a while (don't remember exactly how I found you). I don't know you, but feel like we should have crossed somewhere!

I want to know more about being a Jewish mom in Toronto, and how you meet other moms that you feel like you could actually talk to!

7:00 AM

Blogger HomeFireBlue said...

Honest is good.

I'm quite straightforward on my blogs and I actually have two separate blogs for myself: one that's more mommy oriented (Baby pics, spit-up reports, no swearing, No politics/religion, etc)and one that's unadulterated ME (no holds barred and I fucking swear like I do IRL and post pics of my favourite pet: the penis).

So, yeah, go for it.


7:53 AM

Blogger Kristen said...

I try to be as "hard core" as I possibly can without getting The Boyfriend pissed at me. LOL. If I call him an ass or anything like that, he gets mad, so I just leave that part out. But I'm sure it's implied?

7:54 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I like your blog, Rebecca. It feels much more authentic than your Post columns. (I think the spelling enhances that feel.) You're tackling some of the taboo topics of motherhood with insight and humour, which keeps me coming back.

And, yes, I know the Fiancé,. He's the reason I tuned in in the first place. He's such a decent guy. Does it matter if he reads your blog? My husband reads very little of what I write. There's a trust issue there, I think.

9:12 AM

Blogger Foodmomiac said...

I like blogs with swearing. To me, it's like HBO versus stupid network TV. So, fuck yeah - say whatever you want. You are probably edited all the time in your other writing, right? Here, you don't have to deal with that shit, so you might as well take advantage of it.

9:49 AM

Blogger Ali said...

i actually had someone blast me in my comments when i swore on my blog.

well, i told her to stop reading if she was offended. i tend to be pretty open, honest and real on my blog. sometimes people i know are offended...i write about friend trouble, how i have a VERY rocky relationship with my mother and my inlaws, and about issues with the husband.

i really wanted to be me. so i write about my brazilian waxes and i posted pictures of my pregnancy belly and i just let it all out there, because, in the end, the blog is really for me. i love that people read it, but i don't want to have to NOT write about things because my religious neighbor might be reading and might be offended.

and i swear like a sailor. oh yes, i do.

as a side note, i'm so happy that i discovered your blog. i've been reading you for years and most of the time afterwards i say to the husband, "you know..i think Rebecca Eckler and i could totally be besties. we think so much alike." and then he laughs at me. because that's what he does.

10:09 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

You never talk about Robo, your best friend, can you tell us a little bit about her?

Also, do you find yourself befriending moms that are in a similar socio-economic bracket? I recently became a 1st-time mom and joined a neighborhood playgroup (which is located in an affluent area in Mtl) - i think it's important for kids to socialize with kids from all kinds of backgrounds but at the same time, I'm torn. I don't want my kid to feel left out because she doesn't have the latest toy/gadget - what are your thoughts?

10:49 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

My advice is to be as honest as possible without jeopardizing your relationship with your significant other. Swearing is fine. One thing I'd love to hear you write about is where you went to school (university) and your experiences there, i.e., what you studied.

10:58 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I say go for it. Blogging is supposed to be an outlet for you to really dish...about your life, frustrations etc. I find you very amusing as is, so hopefully this new "no holds barred" approach will be even better!

12:21 PM

Blogger Laural Dawn said...

We just had a discussion about this at a little staff gathering. Go with the hard core blogging - it's way funnier, and why say half of what you feel when your feelings are so much stronger???
Sometimes words like crap just don't cut it.

12:35 PM

Anonymous Devon said...

I want to hear more about your career! Especially National Post and other Canadian media gossip. That would be awesome. (Not that it isn't now, I love your blog).

12:46 PM

Blogger littlepinkcar said...

...maybe you could pls write something about in-laws? i sense it's a common hurdle - i have a very hard time with my MIL/DIL/SIL/BIL (like you posted above, Bri).

there's nothing worse than phoney people - so if you feel like swearing then pls do it/be yourself. it's good to shake it up a bit anyways.

2:12 PM

Blogger Rebecca said...

Be honest. Swear. It's your blog, say what you want. I like the ones who write like they speak... just not the ones who attack other people, y'know? Just do your thing -- isn't that really what this whole thing is for anyway?

4:47 PM

Blogger tomama said...

The only reason I don't swear (which I do a lot of in real life) is because of the weird google hits I was picking up. Not weird funny, weird scary. Scary, scary scary. It's also why I don't use the words tickle, crap and marshmallow together in the same post. Or Spanx and overweight beagle.

5:44 PM

Blogger Blog-o-licious said...

What the fuck has taken so long?

9:21 PM

Blogger MommyWithAttitude said...

I'm late here, but I keep swearing (though I swear ALL THE TIME) and overly self-indulgent posts to a minimum, because at the moment my priority is trying to figure out how to earn a living (even a meager one, we don't need my income to survive) by writing. So I try to be relatively professional in order to have some good writing samples.

But blogs should be a place to cut loose and if I ever get some real writing jobs I'll do a lot more of that on my blog.

And I second whoever said they'd like to hear more about freelancing and being a working wrier in general.

And my next review will be some fiction. Just for you.

10:54 AM

Blogger Her Bad Mother said...

Well, as you know, I go pretty potty mouth on my blog. I write how I think - and if curses are in my brain, they're on the page.

Dishin' it up, straight up. Best way to go.

4:38 PM

Blogger Jenn said...

I like your blog - it feels real to me. You write about ordinary stuff in your life that bugs you. Blogs are a good outlet. I try to be completely honest in my blog. The only thing I don't do is swear - even if I feel like it - because my MOM reads it regularly. I used to have another blog that I didn't tell any of my family about - where I could swear profusely and bitch about anything and everything. It was my "stranger" blog. I didn't tell any of my friends or family about it, because then I had to censor myself if I wanted to talk about them. That blog is over. I didn't tell anyone about it, and like 4 people read it. Oh well - it was cheap therapy for a while. Sometimes I miss it.
Congrats on reaching the 5000 mark.

8:25 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I like to read the blogs that are right out there - the drama, the fights, the petty thoughts, the intrigue.

But I think it takes a tough skin to write that kind of blog. But you probably have developed one already so I say go for it. :)

I'd like to hear about the things you don't do as well as the things you do. You are a driven busy woman - so what, if anything, do you give up?

6:29 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm not much of a blogger... I say no time but really I'm worry about who might read it. Kinda of narcissistic on my part now that I think about it. ;-)
I never really liked your column in the Post but now I really enjoy your blog. It seems way more honest. Maybe I can relate more that I have a kid of own and realize that I'm also a ball of contradictions (and proud of it!!).

6:43 PM

Anonymous katie said...

hi, long time reader, first time responder. i love the blog, don't change a thing. no, the swearing does not offend me, no, i do not work in the fiance's lunch room but yes, i am glad to know he snores. can you write about your thoughts on living in a big city vs. a small city now that you have the dictator? my two year old ten pound dictator has me considering moving out of toronto and back to victoria in search of some saneness and clear air.

7:53 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Awesome blog! Your first book was amazing- I gave it to 7 female friends as a present.

Keep up the blog...You are a totally fun and cool mom! Rowan is a lucky gal (and so is the fiancee!).

6:04 PM


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