I've been doing ninepounddictator.blogspot.com for a couple months now. It time for a Frequently Asked Question post...
Q. I've sent you comments and you haven't posted them. You only seem to post comments from bloggers who agree with what you write. You should post all comments, shouldn't you?
A. Let me ask my staff. "Hey, everyone! I need your attention for one quick second. Should I post every single comment on ninepounddictator.blogspot.com even the vicious cruel ones sent from stupid people who either need a life, need to get laid, need a hobby, or need to get a JOB?".....OK, I'm back. Staff says 'Yeah, right! You can do anything you want!"
That's because I'm the sole staff here at ninepounddictator.blogspot.com. It's my blog and I can post comments or not post comments, which makes me feel very powerful indeed. Ha ha ha! That's the beauty of only having to answer to me. I do, in fact, post comments which disagree. I do not post comments from people who write things ABOUT me clearly in an attempt to hurt my feelings. Why would I? It's my blog. Deal.
Q. Do you like anonymous commentors?
A. I kind of do. Sometimes anonymous posters just don't have blogger accounts. But, duh, I can tell if the nasty comments are coming from the same computer and that, not only the anonymous posters, but the ones with fake names, are coming from the same computer. Thanks to my staff. Oh, wait. That's me. Bahhhaaaaa...
Q. Why don't you just stick to writing about mothering?
A. Interesting. An annoymous - of course - commentor asked me about this just yesterday. Let me ask my staff. "Hey, everyone! Can I write about whatever I want or do I have to just stick to writing about mothering?"....OK, I'm back. Staff says I can write about whatever I damn well please and if you don't like it, tough." Again, I asked myself, the only staff here at ninepounddictator.com.
Q. I comment on your blog, why don't you comment on mine?
A. Good question. I do check out everyone's blog who comments on mine. I have met some great bloggiefriends, who I try to comment on often and these bloggers know who they are (love you guys!) Even if I don't comment on your blog all the time, I'm still reading it! I may just not have something to contribute. Sometimes it takes me a few days to comment, but I do try my very best!
Q) How does The Dictator feel about being called The Dictator?
A) Another good question. Let me check. "Hey, Rowan! Do you mind mommy calling you The Dictator?" Rowan's answer: "I want bubble gum!" ...I'll take that to mean she doesn't care.
Q) I abolutely hate reading Ninepoundictator.blogspot.com! I've read all your posts and they all make me want to vomit. What do you say about that, bee-yatch?
A) I say the word, "Be-yatch" stopping being cool around the same time The O.C. started to become really boring. I also say, why do you continue to read this blog. I'm not forcing you to! No one is forcing you to! In fact, if you hate it so much, and are still reading it, and sending nasty comments, I say a) get a therapist, b) go on anti-pychotic drugs and...no, those are your only options.
Q) You said you'd blogroll me and post my logo. And it's not up yet. What happened?
A ) Let me talk to my staff...ok, I'm back. The staff here (me) apologizes profusely and says please email it to me again (email@example.com) and I will put it up. The staff here (me) can be forgettful.
Q) Why do you have spelling mistakes and typos? Don't you re-read your work you idiot?
A) Let me converse with my copy editor...Ok, I'm back. My copy editor has explained, that no, she doesn't really reread her posts before posting, that she sucks at spelling and there will always ALWAYS be at least one spelling mistake and a couple typos in each post. I should really fire her. You're fired! Oh, wait. I can't. There's only me here. You're hired again!
Q) Do you have any favorite mommy bloggers?
A) Yes, I do. I don't want to pick my absloute favorites (2Badladies, Kristen) but if you look at my blogroll, you'll find many bloggers I read at least a couple times a week. And you find any you think the staff here at ninepounddictator.blogspot.com will like, let us - I mean, ME - know! I love finding new mommy bloggers.