Check it out! What's up with Abdul?

Ok, this is nearly as important as anything mother-related. Yup, I'm talking about American Idol.

I am an Idol-head. Is that what we're called? I'm not sure. But I am sure that Paula Abdul is losing her mind or has got her hands on a doctors prescription pad and is taking stong pain killers.

Ok, I'll admit, I actually like Paula. Sure, her boobs are always so strangley positioned, and sometimes her hair...well, Iet's just say, she always looks kind of interesting in the way you look at a celebrity and ask, "You have a stylist? Really?"

And, sure, her sentences never make any sense. In fact, The Dictator can put together sentences that I understand more than I understand why Paula is saying. But, the boobs, the hair, and what came out of her mouth, is always so fascinating, I looked forward to seeing her.

Also, I loved that whole "Did she sleep with that contestant whose name I forget?" drama of last year. She's such a cougar! Growl!

But tonight she cried! Yes, she cried in front of millions and millions and millions of viewers, because Elliot Yasmin sang. I couldn't believe it.

In fact, I was so stunned I had no idea what to do but scream out to The Fiance who was making dinner, "You must come in right now and see this! Paula is crying! She's crying! She's crying. Oh my god, she's crying!"

Not that Elliot was bad. He was pretty good. But to make her cry? Yikes. He's good, but he's not that good, who are we kidding? As if the rest of the world didn't think Paula was already losing her mind. Anyway, I'm still in shock which is why I'm writing like Paula speaks - in nonsense.

But here is why I'm so addicted to American Idol, the good, the bad, the ugly.

1) Am I the only one who finds Randy so annoying to the point I'm screaming at the TV, "Shut up dude! Shut up!" I rarely ever agree with him, and if he says, "Dogpound," or, "Check it out," or "Dude," one more time...argh! It's so obvious he has an inferiority complex next to Paula and Simon. Check that, dude.

2) The only judge who I actually agree with 95 per cent of the time is Simon. I kind of have a crush on him.

3) I know some people, but I'm not naming names (Kristen), have a huge hate on for Kelly Pickler. No, she's not the best singer there, but like Jessica Simspon, I kind of like her personality. Most people do not appreciate blonde ditzes, but I do. They make me laugh and smile. And, yes, I bought all the Newlyweds DVD's. But that's another story. I love how Kelly keeps mentioning her "daddy in prison." My Daddy is in prison too. (I'm joking! But for a minute there, you actually felt for me, right?)

4) For some reason, all the contestant's butts look big when they take camera shots from behind. I don't get it. Why is that?

5) I'm voting for Kat McPhee. Yes, I have the McPhever. At first, the way she looked into the camera, like she really was thinking "I'm making love to the camera. I'm making love to the camera," while she sang, annoyed the crap out of me. But I love her voice. Also, Rachel Bilson, the actress who plays Summer on The O.C is voting for her (they went to school together.) If Summer likes her, how could I not?

6) I always wonder if I'm taller than Ryan Seacrest. I probably am. I think he's so good at his job. Really. I think keeping things moving is harder than most people think. When I get married, I'd like Ryan Seacrest to be the one who moves the speeches along.

7) I like Paris. I don't love her, but I like her. The Fiance likes her, so whenever we watch Idol together, I'm like, "Hey, your girls on now!" But she's never worn an outfit I like. Either she looks like she's trying to be a flight attendant, or someone heading to a Bingo Hall (not that there's anything wrong with Bingo. I like it) But who styles the girl? Really. Awful. Awful. Even if she got tips from Paula, that would be an improvement.

8) Ace was hot. But I'm glad he's gone. I'm actually surprised he lasted as long as he did. He's hot, but he's actually not a very good singer at all. I miss Bucky. Actually, I just like saying his name. Bucky, Bucky, Bucky.

Can you believe Paula cried? Yikes. (Oh, and I'm also voting for Kelly Pickler too.)