Rebecca Eckler is one of Canada's most talked about newspaper columnists, the author of Knocked Up: Confessions of a Hip Mother to Be, which has been translated into nine languages. Also the author of the bestsellers, Wiped!, Toddlers Gone Wild, and Rotten Apple, the first in a YA series. Random thoughts on life in the competitive world of modern mommyhood. Blog will be loved by trendy mothers who still feel, or often feel, that the most important word in "mommee" is ME!

Monday, April 10, 2006

Mommies Rule!

Do you ever feel that people look at your differently once you've become a mother? And you look at life so different?

I don't know if "respect" is the exact right word, but I think it is pretty darn close.

I know some women in my Yoga class, when they find out I have a two-year old, are more willing to talk to me and show me the ropes. I'm not The Competition for them. No siree. I have a toddler, which means we're in this thing called life together. Having a toddler = good person. Just being a skinny girl = bad person.

Yes, there is a great divide between mothers and non-mothers. I don't care what any says. How many of us have lost friends after we gave birth and started raising a baby? How many of us don't even get e-mail spam from some of our former close single friends?

We're not blameless. But it's hard to care about a friend who has had her heart broken, for the gazillionth time, for the same reason she always gets her heart broken, when your child is puking and you haven't had a solid sleep in days. Likewise, why would any single friend really understand why you're getting so upset because your child didn't get into the Mommy and Me Music Class at 11 a.m.?

I used to write a girl-esque column for a Canadian newspaper. Half the stories I now look back and go, "Gaa? Did I really write about that?" If an editor asked me to go out and write about speed dating or the water bra or my new cool pants, I'd laugh it their faces. I'd think, "Who the hell cares about that stuff?"

Didn't you hear the news? Girl "I'm-so-Sex-and-The-City" columns are so, so out. Mommy columnists are in.

I started a Mommy Column in the Globe and Mail about one month ago. I'm so ahead of the curve. By about a month.

Aaccording to an article in The New York Observer, at least, this is true. And if it's happening in New York, Canada will, of course, follow. One of New Yorks most well-known sex writers, Amy Sohn, who I've been a fan of for a long time, is now stopping her Sex beat and writing about "Motherhood." Why? Because nine months ago she had a baby. She will now take on the Mommy Beat, writing about $800 strollers. You know, the stuff we care about as mothers.

I completely get her "career change." I read Sex-and-the-City columnists now, who've been writing about the same things for way longer than Sex and The City was even on the air, and I think, "Is this really what you think about?"

Sure, I used to write about designer jeans. Now I write about designer children's jeans. There's a huge difference.

I'm guessing only mothers understand what I'm talking about.

I can't help but think, with the trend of all these mommy columnists, we're going to take over the world...hahaha.

I knew it was only a matter of time....


Blogger Michele said...

I do sense a new respect from people when they find out I am a mother of twin babies. I dont know why, because I feel far more scatter-brained than ever now. On the other hand I also feel stronger and more powerful than ever. I guess they are picking up on the Lioness vibe...!

5:50 AM

Blogger Her Bad Mother said...

I'm totally up for world domination, but I'm thinking that WonderBaby is going to beat me to it.

It *is* good to be on top of a trend - one that can't be followed simply by whipping out the credit card. You gotta pay your dues to be a member of *this* hip club. I'm proud to have paid (be paying!) mine.

7:42 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Don't be so damned arrogant about your single friends and their trivial problems. I was similarly dumped by a friend who was weary of my trials and tribulations. I was also similarly disinterested in her problems when she found out that her dictator's father had been running around on her (like a good deal of fathers).

6:53 PM

Anonymous Jacy said...

Basically, what you're saying is, whatever you happen to be writing about, whatever is going on in your life, is what is cool right now. When you were writing a supposed Sex and the City column, that was cool. Now that you are writing about motherhood, that is cool. Huh?

I don't think it works that way. Sorry to burst your bubble. Single women do indeed still love reading people like Leah McLaren. New mothers will enjoy reading new motherhood columns. Mothers of older children will enjoy reading about raising teenagers. Intelligent women who are not defined solely by their motherhood or their marital status will enjoy reading all three, and political and current affairs columns too.

You are just one of many niches. You are not at the vanguard. I think the fact that you always seem to write/think as though you are on the cutting edge, is what makes people mad about you.

10:48 AM

Anonymous Cathy said...

What is it with you new mothers? I had mine 11 and 14 years ago. You're not on top of a trend, ladies. You're not reinventing the wheel. Note to all of you: Women have been having babies since the beginning of time. Get it?

The arrogance!

10:51 AM

Blogger Julia B said...

One of my (used to be) good friends had a baby a couple of months back. We've hung out once since then, and while I think the kid is cute as a button, I don't really have anything to talk to her about anymore.

We used to be doing our law degrees together and could chat about contracts or teachers or assignments. Now I feel like I'm being stuck up if I talk about law stuff as she's not doing it anymore, but I don't know what she does all day that isn't covered by the catch all phrase 'looked after the baby'.

I guess the answer is to just keep sitting through the silences till you start having things in common again. Luckily, cute babies fill silences well :-)

10:04 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

The truth is, if you are good friends than you appreciate what is going on in your friend's lives regardless if you can relate direclty or not. As a friend, I actively take an interest in my friend's lives. A dating catastrophe is equally as important to a nursing nightmare if it is relevant to your friend. As a new mother and more importantly as a sensitive friend I make a point not to talk, 'everything baby' around those who may not be interested. Similarly, I would not talk endlessly about work if I wasn't around work colleagues or people who don't really care.

As for being cutting edge, of the moment, and now talking about things that really matter? I'm not sure it is all that much different if the jeans are a 2x or a size 4 petite. Either way they are just jeans, and you are still paying for a label... a name, or whatever material justification you want to place on it. Not to say that's right or wrong, I just don't think there really is much of a difference.

9:37 AM


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