Rebecca Eckler is one of Canada's most talked about newspaper columnists, the author of Knocked Up: Confessions of a Hip Mother to Be, which has been translated into nine languages. Also the author of the bestsellers, Wiped!, Toddlers Gone Wild, and Rotten Apple, the first in a YA series. Random thoughts on life in the competitive world of modern mommyhood. Blog will be loved by trendy mothers who still feel, or often feel, that the most important word in "mommee" is ME!

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Mommy Crises Secret

If I live to be 120, I'm having my quarter-life crises right about now. I'm too young to be having my mid-life crises, and I'm not sure there's a word for "trying to find myself at age 32." If that's what I'm trying to do.

There's something I haven't told you.

About two days before I left for Scottsdale, Arizona, where I now am for a month, I got punk red streaks in my head. Yup, punk red. I'm so 1982.

I mean, it looked really good on the hairdresser, who was doing my hair. Of course, she is about 22 and half-Cambodian, so already way cooler than I'll ever be, have been, am.

Anyway, I've always wanted to do it. So I did it. I'm 32. I don't have to work in an office, I don't need to ask my mother's permission ("Mom! It's just hair. It will grow out!") I just felt, shaking it, or me, or something, up a bit. And, I've already done the tattoo thing, dating a rock star thing, and the belly buttom peirce thing

In any case, I love the hair.

The Fiance hates the hair. I don't care that he hates the hair. I figured he would. What I can't stand is The Fiance looking at me every three minutes and saying, "Ohhhhhh, you're soooooo alternative." Really.

I'll be like, "Hey, you want to see a movie tonight?" And he'll be, "Ohhhhh, you're soooo alternative." Or I'll say, "I'm going to Yoga," and he'll say, "Ohhhh, you're so alternative."

Maybe the red-streak thing is a Mommy-Crises thing. I think it is. I'm fighting the whole, "You're a mother now. No more fun for you! No more wild and crazy experiences!" thing.

Good thing The Dictator is only two and can't threaten to take away my allowance.


Blogger Her Bad Mother said...

Sometimes rebel hair is the best hair of all. So what if it's part of a Mommy-Crisis? Could be worse - you could be getting your nipple pierced or your neck tattooed. Or something.

Plus? You probably need new clothes to go with that hair. Right? And any enterprise requiring new clothes is a GOOD thing.

6:50 PM

Anonymous Grace_70 said...

Oh your hair, eh? What usless dribble! I should email the EIC of the Globe to highligh this poor excuse for "hipster" literary rant. You should be more careful with what you attach your name to. Be at stay at home mum, tell Nanny Mimi to go on a holiday and learn the basic obligations of motherhood. Good grief...

7:50 PM

Blogger Bahar said...

Good you Rebecca.

My mom is turning 50, but is way cooler than me. She cut her hair short and got red and blond streaks.

As a mommy, you shouldn't forget that you are still a girl, too.

You need to look cool, hip and young.

(it disgusts me when I see 40 year old men like the 20 years olds and think girls older are not sexy anymore!)

8:08 PM

Blogger Cindy said...

Hey, lets not attack those of us with tattoo's on their necks. I have one. Hidden under my hairline. But still. (I know you were just kidding 2 badladies. Right?)

Anyway I say you should do whatever you want to your hair regardless of age. And my mom at 47 is way cooler than me. She has a big punk ass tattoo on her back that she got 5 years ago. We also took her to get her belly button pierced. See? Mom's can still be cool.

Next time tell the Fiance you will shove your alternative foot up his ass. That might help.

And good on you for doing comment moderation. It was getting out of control.

12:07 AM

Blogger Julia B said...

Heh, if he insists on teasing you for being alternative you should tease him for being conservative. Say you'll make dinner and cook really bland food, put the radio on the top 40, insist on watching average television and change the channel if anything out of the usual happens, saying 'Well, I wouldn't want things to be too *alternative* for you'.

And if your young one gets cool jeans, the least you should get is cool hair. :-)

12:25 AM

Blogger JennC said...

Often I go out of the house with clothes that don't "match". Well they do... to me... but my husband tells me that I'm too bohemian (nice way to say, go change, I can't bear to be seen with you).

I ignore him too.

1:56 AM

Blogger sunshine scribe said...

I've said it before that what I like about you is that you are not afraid to say what most mom's are thinking. Now I know you are also not afraid to DO what most mom's are thinking.

I had a fleeting notion one day in the stylists chair that I could be cool like them with punk red streaks. But then realizing that since I am a blond, I'd look like a candy cane so I thought again.

Good for you.

4:29 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Uh, sky, weren't you just telling people not to judge? that anyone who felt $140 jeans were a waste of money was "jealous" and mean?

But now you're "disgusted" by age differences in relationships.

This is the central problem with a lot of you "don't judge" types. What you really mean is don't judge what I say or do, but I"ll just judge away.

NOw applying your jeans logic, you're just really jealous of any women younger than you.

4:29 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think this is great! My mom has had short silver hair since she was around 30 and stopped getting it dyed back to black soon after. A couple of years ago she started getting small chunks of purple, pink, red or green highlighted into it - to go with the seasons or with a wedding outfit or WHATEVER. Not really an alternative/punk move but sort of fun I thought!

Meanwhile I am so mainstream with my blonde highlights, sigh.

5:39 AM

Blogger T. said...

I'm feeling you. I turned 30 six months ago and felt the need to shake things up a bit. Perhaps losing a child will do that do, who knows. But two weeks ago I walked into a piercing parlour and walked out with a newly pierced nose. And I'm funking up my hair on Sat. Life's too short to be boring. Now if only my husband would stop sneering "Rebel" everytime he looks at me and go get a tattoo. Life would be perfect!

7:57 AM

Blogger Bahar said...

I need to ask you a favour.

Please read my last post and tell me what you think about public childcare. I need to hear it first hand from women who are trying to balance family and career.

8:25 AM

Blogger Her Bad Mother said...

Cindy - I *was* kidding. Whatever floats one's rebel boat is a good thing.

And moms/mommies/mothers *should* indulge those rebel impulses. The best mother is an *interesting* mother, and yes, sometimes those seemingly superficial flourishes *do* make us more interesting...

3:14 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I totally did the same thing when my young one was 9 months old!! I had two wicked bright purle highlights on either side of my super-short, jet-black bangs. I'm all for the "I'm a hip, happenin' mama" look. Rock it Rebecca

11:09 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I totally did the same thing when my daughter was 9 months old. I put in two bright purple highlights framing my oh-so-trendy super-short, jet-black bangs (with bob ala Amelie). For the first time since the age of 21, I didn't have to sit at a desk in an office and I was the cool, hip, crazy mama at playgroup and I loved it!! Rock the red Rebecca.

11:20 AM

Blogger kittenpie said...

I did the bright red stripes a couple of years ago, but unfortunately, with sorta brightish red hair anyway, they really didn't show. Pooh. And I think any other colour would just clash.

4:09 PM

Blogger Heather said...

Ok. Pierce it. Tattoo it. Streak it. Dye it. Stretch it. Lick it. Slam it. Suck it. You are never too old.

Now when my kids want to do the same...well, I haven't thought about that yet. He's still 9 months.

8:12 PM


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