Rebecca Eckler is one of Canada's most talked about newspaper columnists, the author of Knocked Up: Confessions of a Hip Mother to Be, which has been translated into nine languages. Also the author of the bestsellers, Wiped!, Toddlers Gone Wild, and Rotten Apple, the first in a YA series. Random thoughts on life in the competitive world of modern mommyhood. Blog will be loved by trendy mothers who still feel, or often feel, that the most important word in "mommee" is ME!

Thursday, April 06, 2006

Horror Stories

So, as most of you know, I've been away from the Dictator for four days....only three more to go until I see her beautiful face. Monday, The Dictator comes with Nanny Mimi (who will hang with us for a week) in Scottsdale Arizona where I am staying for the month (And The Dictator will stay with me for the remainder.)

Of course, I get regular updates. Like today, for example, I was told that The Dictator showed up to her "music class" wearing a ridiculous outfit. (I have spies everywhere.)

Supposedly, The Dictator arrived with green pants, an orange vest (where'd she even get that?) and a striped shirt. Gaaa! (And I'm saying this from afar.)

I discussed this issue with The Fiance over lunch. "Well, she always looks good when you dress her," he said. "What do other people do?" What he meant was, do other nannies dress the kids or do the parents lay out the clothes for their nannies to put on their kids?

I had no clue. Usually, Nanny Mimi dresses The Dictator. She usually looks ok to me.

So I called my good friend who also has a nanny. "So do you lay out the clothes, or do you let your nanny choose what he wears?" I asked.

"Usually, she'll dress him. But sometimes I'll say, 'Dress him cute' and her definition of 'cute' and mine is obviously very different."

I know, I know, I shouldn't care that The Dicator showed up to her music class looking like a clown. (That wasn't my word. 'Clown' was my spies word.) I know it doesn't matter what she wears. I know all of this already.

And I usually wouldn't care so much that The Dictator was dressed like a clown, except, well, she also clocked someone. Yes, that's right. The Dictator slapped another two year old in class.

I don't like the hitting thing. I know, also, that it's their age. "At least she was the one doing the clocking," The Fiance said, trying to calm me down.

But that's not what I was thinking. I don't want The Dictator to hit other kids! I don't want her to be dressed like a clown when I go out of town! I definitely don't want her to hit other kids WHILE dressed like a clown.

I don't want The Dictator to be known as "that girl who dresses like a clown and clocks other people."

See? This is what I've been telling The Fiance. How can a mother relax on vacation while worrying about stuff like this?


Blogger Cindy said...

Maybe the dictator just wanted to dress herself? Could be worse, she could've been wearing a ballerina tutu or something. You would also be much worse for worrying right now if the other kid had clocked her. Just look at it that way.

10:11 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

on my nanny's test day I half dressed the bebe and my test nanny added socks and a sweater. Bright blue socks and a greeny yellow sweater. I didn't say a thing but had to restrain myself. She was warm at least! I hired my test nanny.

6:39 AM

Blogger T. said...

Have a drink, phone the nanny, tell her clown outfits are decidedly uncool and be thankful your kiddie can take care of herself!

7:57 AM

Blogger Her Bad Mother said...

Having a bad clothes day - I don't know how it happens when one dresses one's self, but it does - makes me want to clock people, too. Happily, I have a credit card and can fix total wardrobe malfunctions when i'm out and about (and yes, I have done that. Purchased a new outfit having realized that the current outfit is just WRONG.) The Dictator cannot. So what else can she do but clock someone? And maybe that someone was mocking her outfit!

End of the day, though? Hitting is bad. But so are bad clothes.

8:37 AM

Blogger Tim G. said...

Am I the only one here bothered that you call your kid "the dictator"? Sarcastic or not, there's nothing endearing about it.

9:52 AM


Mothers don't get to relax....ever. It is a full time job with no real vacation.

10:18 AM

Blogger Kristen said...

I'm having the same problem with hitting with my daughter and she's only turning one this sunday. She thinks it's absolutely hilarious to hit me when she doesn't like what I say. I am at a loss. How can you get a baby to understand hitting is wrong? I have no clue.

Oh, and every saturday I go to my mom's and the Boyfriend watches Leah. When I return home, she nearly always either a) looks like a clown b) is only in a diaper and shirt or c) is wearing something entirely too small or way to big.
It happens to the best of us. LOL. At least you know it's not your fault.

10:26 AM

Blogger Bahar said...

You ladies make me laugh!!! especially "her bad mother"!!!

But on the serious side, there is only one thing that you might want to investigate (as I said my mom is a pre-school teacher).

How did Dictator learn to "slap" someone in the face? She must have seen it (I am assuming not at home) but in class or on TV. You may want to talk to her about it to see where,how,why....ect.

11:28 AM

Blogger Her Bad Mother said...

Tim - Dictator? Phwah. I refer to my baby as Future Ruler of the Known and Unknown Universe. And I'm not being sarcastic.

Is that wrong?

6:53 PM

Blogger Heather said...

My nephew wore his batman costume everyday for a month and there was nothing anyone could do or say about it.

Clowns are cute. Should have gotten nanny to take a photo.

8:16 PM

Blogger Heather said...

My nephew wore his batman costume everyday for a month and there was nothing anyone could do or say about it.

Clowns are cute. Should have gotten nanny to take a photo.

8:17 PM


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