Genius Dictator...not so much

I’m always very careful to not walk around telling people The Dictator is a genius.

I once did one of those IQ tests for babies and The Dictator was….a genius! Actually, no, she wasn’t. She was just “slightly below average” when it came to IQ for her age, at that time, just over a year.

But everyone knows you can’t really trust IQ tests, especially ones on the Internet, and that they’re just a way to kill time, unless you get a wickedly high score, in which case you can say you’re a genius.

The Dictator was "slightly below average" and that's definitely not something you want to walk around saying about your offspring. Anyway.

I’m really very careful to not walk around saying The Dictator is a genius, because I hate people who are constantly telling other people how super bright their child is because they can sing songs at age two. I mean, most kids can sing songs at age two. Hello? You don’t really have a genius.

I’m also very nice when I see parents of other kids who seem to be kind of advanced. At the kiddy pool today at The Four Seasons in Scottsdale, Arizona, there was a two year old, who could literally hold his breath under water and swim like a fish.

The Dictator, who is about six months older than this child, can sort of blow bubbles and can walk around in the kiddy pool, but she certianly can’t swim!

“That’s amazing!” I said to the father of the 2 year-old fish. “That’s amazing!” I know I made this father proud. Every parent feels proud when another parent comments on how advance their kid seems.

Last year, when we were vacationing at the Four Seasons in Maui, we headed to the bar to listen to some live music. The Dictator got up on the dance floor and started to shake her bum like Shakira. The Dictator always does this when she hears music, but so do most kids her age. (Dancing does not make your baby a genius. All babies like to boogie!)

An elderly woman came up to me and told me my daughter was “clearly a natural” when it came to dancing, and she couldn’t believe that I wasn’t a dancer myself, because where else would The Dictator have learned to dance so well?

(It was most certainly not from me. I’m Jewish, which means I have no rhythm when it comes to dancing, not that that stops me from dancing. It just stops me from dancing well.)

I told this nice woman The Dictator learned to dance the mumbo from her Dora The Explorer DVD. Of course, this elderly woman had no clue what I was talking about. Why would she? But her compliment made me feel proud. Maybe I did have a "cleary natural dancing baby!')

Yesterday, in the car, The Dictator, out of nowhere said, “R is for Rowan.”

“Yes! You’re right!” I said, stunned. How did she know that?

Then The Dictator said, ‘R is for Ruby my dog.” (We have nine-pound dog named Ruby.)

“You’re right again!” I said, thinking, “Oh my god. Maybe I do really have a genius. She knows ‘R’ is for her name and R is for Ruby’s name. She’s totally a genius!”

Then The Dictator said, “R is for Daddy!” Doh!

She should have quit while she was ahead. Genius? Not so much. But good dance? Cleary. In fact, I kind of think it's just fine by me if she turns out to have a low IQ but is a great dancer. Yup, I'm completely fine with that.