So grumpy. I blame "Seasonal Allergies" which are ruining my life. They keep me up at night. They annoy the crap out of me.
And the thing is...well, the thing is, I'm not even the one who suffers from Seasonal Allergies. It's the stupid fiance. (Yes, that's how grumpy I am.)
For the past week, I haven't slept. Here's my routine. We get into bed. I give a sigh of relief, "Thank God I made it through another -"
And then the fiance is snoring.
I'm not sure what annoys me more. The fact that he can fall asleep in 12 seconds or the fact that as soon as he falls asleep he's snoring. Either way, I want to hurt him.
I've tried to be nice, you know, hitting him on his back as opposed to slapping him in the face. I've begged him - "Please dear god, let me fall asleep first."
I've made him do the nasal spray thing and I swear, I. am. this. close. to. buying. him. those. hideous. nose. strips. But I'm not that cruel. Not yet anyway.
So I've been sleeping in The Dictator's bed. Which sucks because she needs her Dora the Explorer sheets and, to me, they make me feel like I'm sleeping on paper towel. But I can deal with that. I can not deal with the fact The Dictator is now a girl.
A girl who kicks. And sleeps sidewways. And kicks. And kicks. And kicks.
So, here are my choices a) I sleep with The Snorer or b) I sleep with the Kicker.
I don't like either of those options.
I like option c) finding a doctor who will prescibe me a jar of sleeping pills so I can have options - the options being being able to sleep through the snores or being able to sleep through the kicks. I don't care. Drug me. Please.
I don't know. I just don't know.
You know, if I can offer one piece of advice for all those who haven't found mates, it would be to ask Potentials if they have seasonal allergies. If they say yes, end the date right there and don't look back.
I'm just saying...