Rebecca Eckler is one of Canada's most talked about newspaper columnists, the author of Knocked Up: Confessions of a Hip Mother to Be, which has been translated into nine languages. Also the author of the bestsellers, Wiped!, Toddlers Gone Wild, and Rotten Apple, the first in a YA series. Random thoughts on life in the competitive world of modern mommyhood. Blog will be loved by trendy mothers who still feel, or often feel, that the most important word in "mommee" is ME!

Monday, May 08, 2006

Mom's Day with or Without Children

Do you think Mother's Day for you would be a happier occassion with or without your child (or children.)

On the one hand, it would be nice to have The Dictator sleep over at Nanny Mimi's house, so I can sleep in with The Fiance, and then get up and go to brunch with him. And then, maybe, we'd see a movie, and then maybe go shopping, and then go out for a nice dinner.

One of my best friends, a mother of four, is actually taking off to Florida with some other of her mother friends, over Mothers Day weekend. And, no, none of these mothers are bringing their children. And they're just fine - more than fine - with this.

Mother's Day is tricky. As mother's, we all want to be not only celebrated on this one day a year, but spoiled silly. And, then, in an effort to be spoiled silly, our husbands will make "breakfast in bed" for us with the kids. And we all know how this story ends...with mommies cleaning up the kitchen...and the trail of pancake mix...and the spilled orange juice on the steps up to the bedroom.

Last year, leading up to my first Mother's Day (I tried to convince the fiance that I still a mother when I was pregnant because someone was growing in me, but that didn't work. He said he needed to see proof of a baby before I'd get a gift) I asked a few mother's I knew what their best mother's day was.

It was so depressing. All these mother's saying they never really had a memorable mother's day, because they still had to look after their children, feed their children, change their babies diapers, and their husbands forgetting, as if it were any other day of the year.

Ok, it's really not any other day of the year. Sure, it's another day, but mother's should at least get presents. The best kind of presents for these kind of occassions, mother's day, birthdays, is the kind of gift you'd never buy for yourself, but you really, really, want - a day at the spa, an expensive handbag, a pair of sexy high heels (Feel free to e-mail this posting to the father of your child. There's still time.)

Personally, for me, I want to spend at least a large chunk of Mother's Day with The Dicatator. I'd feel weird not seeing her at all on Mother's Day. But that's just me. After all, The Dictator is the best gift of all. What else could I ever ask for on Mother's Day?

Ha ha. I'm completely joking!

Sure, I love The Dictator and all, and I want to spend time with her on Mother's Day, but I also want a gift that I wouldn't necessarily by for myself. I've already put in my request to the fiance for a Louis Vuittion large purse. And if The Dictator had any money of her own, I'd ask for a matching wallet.

One day...


Blogger Jenn said...

My mother's day gift from my husband is usually letting me sleep in, and giving me some time OFF from being a mother. He looks after the kids while I take a nap, read a book or just read blogs and play that darn sudoku game online.
My children MADE me a mother, without them, Mother's day would be just another day, send a card to my mum, and some flowers and the day isn't really all that 'special'. But having looked after 3 small kids, day in and day out, and then having a break from it - THAT'S something to celebrate.

8:14 PM

Blogger Cindy said...

I tried to convince my husband that I was a mom to our two dogs and cat, but he wasn't going for it... Oh well.

My siblings and I always used to make my mom breakfast in bed and give her our homemade cards, along with the one we made for her from our dad because he always forgot. I'm sure she knew, but we did it anyway. At least until we discovered we could order her flowers and charge them to their business...

Either way it goes, wether you are with your kids that day or not, I hope all you moms out there have a wonderful mothers day. You guys deserve it. You have the most important job in the world; raising the next generation.

One day I hope to join your ranks.

12:08 AM

Blogger JennC said...

OMG. Has Mother's Day been and gone in Canada? My mom is gonna kill me... again... In France Mother's Day is at the end of May.

4:23 AM

Blogger Mega Mom said...

I think a great Mother's Day for me would be a little time with the family, a little time by myself, and a little time with my husband.

But that trip to Florida sounds lovely too!

My husband has many fine traits, but unfortunately, gift-giving is nowhere on that list. Sometimes it bums me out, but I try to concentrate on all of the other "gifts" he gives me :)

5:51 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I can see how having a break would be KEY, and I think having your partner to look after the children for a few hours is a great way to get some YOU time.

Also, I think there are two ways to go on the present front. You can go expensive (a relative term depending on each family's budget, of course) or you can go thoughtful. So a day at the spa or a LV handbag would count as expensive, a handmade card and painting made together by your kid and your partner would count as thoughtful. While the best gifts are both, I think as long as at least one of these bases is covered you should feel appreciated and you've got a happy mother's day on your hands!

9:11 AM

Blogger GIRL'S GONE CHILD said...

im not even going to be with my hub for mothers day. presents? hahahahahah! oh wait. hahahahahah! yeah. i'll be with archer. that's all i need. strolling down the blvd in our sunglasses. i kinda don't get mother's day without the kids but then again i only have one and he's rather easy and i heart him infinity.

9:34 AM

Blogger Michele said...

I am only going on my second Mother' s Day so I am not an authority - YET. My feelings at this point are that my 14 month old twins need me more than I need to be away from them. My husband is perfectly capable of handling things without me, but right now a Mother's Day without the three of them would seem rather silly and lonely. After all, my husband and kids made me a mother. I fully expect a lovely gift and cards and attention though! I get my Me time anytime I want it so I dont think it has to be on that day.

Also, I still celebrate my mother on that day - which includes making a big fuss over her. I dont think Mother's Day will be all about me until I dont have her to celebrate anymore. And by then hopefully my boys will have had years of my good example to follow when they celebrate me.

10:37 AM

Blogger Annie, The Evil Queen said...

I was pregant last year on Mother's Day as well. I had my son 4 days later. My neighbors threw my baby shower on Mother's Day. The guests all agreed that, beyond breakfast, Mother's Day was often a bust and they'd rather come to a party. It was a great day all around.

10:49 AM

Blogger kittenpie said...

I think sleeping in, morning pancakes, and then take her out for her morning jaunt would be nice, though that is not unusual. Just nice. and I wouldn't mind Pink's new CD too.

10:54 AM

Blogger York Region Baby said...

A Mother's Day Break would be nice!! My website is running a contest for a spa day for tired mommies (wish I could enter)... Feel free to enter and nominate someone, even yourself.

I am looking forward to my second mom's day, but also it's my second mom's day without my mom. Which makes it bittersweet... so I am looking forward to sloppy kisses from my one year old and breakfast in bed!

12:57 PM

Blogger Not Jenny said...

My dream would be to have the night shift covered--I haven't had a full night's sleep in over a year. Sleep, chocolate and having the house cleaned would make a perfect Mother's Day for me.
My three-year-old has a speech delay. The day he calls me "Mom" will be my real Mother's day.

3:27 PM

Blogger Her Bad Mother said...

With WonderBaby. Absolutely. But then Husband will take her away and I will sleeeeep and take hot bath. And then WonderBaby will snuggle back up with me and I will be given presents.

Best Mother's Day.

5:40 PM

Anonymous Naomi said...

I was just pondering this same thought with my husband today. I don't really want anything fancy and expensive for mother's day this year, but I don't know what i do want.

I do know that I'd like to spend at least some of it with The Happy Boy, since, without him, I wouldn't be a mother at all!

7:14 PM

Blogger MommyWithAttitude said...

I do the same thing as Jenn except usually I leave the house in some capacity. It's nice to me just to have someone taking care of all the "grunt work" around here for a while!

8:32 PM

Blogger sunshine scribe said...

I'll spend half the day with my son being a mom and the other half on my own. Doing whatever I want. My time off. Counting the minutes until Sunday...

8:41 PM

Blogger Kristen said...

We're spending the day "as a family" probably going over to my mom's so I can give her a gift.

As far as the expensive bag goes- man do I WANT it, but I keep telling The Boyfriend no. I keep telling him I'll kill him if he spends that money. I'd rather get my new car thankyouverymuch. LOL. Though I have my eye on that new patchwork white coach bag. Love it for summer.

And I am so against spas. I know I'm weird. First, I'm a germophobe, second I can't stand being touched by strangers. I'll have to do a post about that. LOL.

10:33 PM

Blogger Kristen said...

zooh. I just got a word verification that almost spelled armani! It was "armni." A sign? Maybe....

10:34 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I like the Mother in Mother's day. I have three teen age kids and Mother's day without them, even when they were babie, would have been empty. After all, if it wasn't for them, I wouldn't be a mother.

sure, it's work to clean up after them. But to listen to them giggle and work together when they were preparing the special Mother's day breakfast, was a gift in itself. To have them come to me throughout the day with the impuslive hug or sloppy kiss, was also a gift.

When they were too young for that, their smiles, their laughs, their very being, was my mother's day gift.

I can dream of spas and sleeping in, I can do that now any time I want. Childhood is only for so long. Don't rush through it.

5:16 AM

Blogger Heather said...

Sleep in, chocolate (an more chocolate), snuggles with family, ooh ohh and a clean house (yeah right!).

5:25 AM


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