Rebecca Eckler is one of Canada's most talked about newspaper columnists, the author of Knocked Up: Confessions of a Hip Mother to Be, which has been translated into nine languages. Also the author of the bestsellers, Wiped!, Toddlers Gone Wild, and Rotten Apple, the first in a YA series. Random thoughts on life in the competitive world of modern mommyhood. Blog will be loved by trendy mothers who still feel, or often feel, that the most important word in "mommee" is ME!

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

My Daughter's First Crush

My daughter has her first crush!!!

I'm only slightly concerned. I mean, the guy is, after all, 28 years older than she is. Which means he's only slightly younger than me.

I haven't met this sex god...yet.

Nanny Mimi first told me about The Dictator's crush about three weeks ago. The Dictator has a crush on a man named Hulger and he teaches her music class, Thursdays, at the Jewish Community Center.

And, yes, my brave daughter apparently said to Hulger, her music teacher, "You come home with me now, Ok?" after class one day.

Seriously. What is it with toddlers these days? I was, like, 15 before I invited a boy back to my place!

And, what if Hulger had actually accepted The Dictator's invitation to "come home with her, ok?" and The Fiance came home, and there we were - me, Hulger, and The Dictator - sitting around laughing over pound cake.

I'd have some explainin' to do. I'd have to say, "He's not here for me! He's your daughter's boy toy, not mine!"

Anyway, Hulger let The Dictator down easy saying, "Maybe some other time," which I thought was thoughtful of know, not to break my two year-old daughter's heart and all.

Of course, I did what any other mother would do upon hearing their daughter had her first crush.

I started singing, "Rowan and Hulger sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g. First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes Rowan pushing a baby carriage." (Or in my case, first comes love, then comes baby, then comes...crap, I'll get married when I wanna, so just leave me be!)

Anyway, The Dictator loved the song and picked it up in an hour. She started singing "Rowan and Hulger sitting in a tree" along with me for hours.

I thought The Dictator understood the concept of the song, until she started to sing, "Mommy and Mimi sitting in a tree," and, "Mommy and Ruby sitting in a tree," and "Mommy and poo poo sitting in a tree." Anyway.

Tomorrow, I'll be meeting this young man who has so captured my daughters heart. I'll be the one taking The Dictator to this music class (or is that luv class?)

Because it's my birthday, and I want to spend the day with my daughter, who, apparently, is growing up way too fast for my liking. Yes, it's my birthday and I'm turning...what do you mean you can't hear me...Hello? Are you there?...I must be going through a tunnel....


Blogger Mega Mom said...

My 3 year old has a few little crushes on some of my Mom friends!!! At least he's never asked one for a kiss. That happened to a friend of mine when her 6 year old had a play date over. He kept saying "When are you going to give me that kiss Mrs. X?" Thank goodness I was there to witness it so we could give his parents a good ribbing:) He was quite the little pimp.

3:19 AM

Blogger chichimama said...

Happy Birthday!!! Enjoy music class. And pray that Rowen doesn't start singing the song in front of the teacher :-).

3:22 AM

Blogger JennC said...

I love it when my daughter whispers her crushes in my ear right before bed. I love the fact that she says "Don't tell Papa," giggles and then seals it by putting her finger in front of her lips to say sshhhh.

Thanks for the heads up on Mom's Day. I'm off internet shopping for the big day now. Cheers.

5:35 AM

Blogger Kristen said...

Mommy and poo poo sitting in a tree? I am seriously DYING LAUGHING right now!

Oh, and I don't hate you because of the bag- I just have to live vicariously through you until I get it now, LOL. You have to show us which Louis you got!!!

6:53 AM

Blogger Rebecca said...

Happy Birthday!!!

7:33 AM

Blogger Michele said...


I love this story. If only we could be so bold in our adult lives.

7:35 AM

Blogger Jenn said...

I love the first crushes! My 5 yr old has told me that he's going to marry a girl in his junior kindergarten class. He showed her to me, and I have to say he's got great taste, as she's positively gorgeous, although a full 2 inches taller than him.
Happy Birthday!
My son saw my birthday written on the calendar with a big "29" in marker and concluded that I must be currently 28. I guess I can't keep being 29 for a few more years as he's going to get wise to that awfully quickly.
Hope you get sufficiently spoiled on your big day.

10:08 AM

Blogger Heather said...

Happy Birthday...
I'm hoping she doesn't sing Mommy and Hulger sitting in a tree!

10:29 AM

Blogger Not Jenny said...

Happy Birthday! Crushes are too, too cute. Emmett is currently in love with Patty on CBC kids. He lights up and gets so excited when she comes on in the morning.

11:22 AM

Blogger Her Bad Mother said...

Happy birthday! Do you get double the presents because it's so close to Mother's Day?

11:35 AM

Blogger Cindy said...

that is absolutely adorable.

and Happy Birthday!

11:46 AM

Blogger Laural Dawn said...

I still remember my first crush - I was 4 and absolutely in LOVE with an art teacher at the school I went to. I followed him everywhere, and for my birthday he made me a book which I still have (well, my mom has somewhere for me).
I think he was about 30 years older than me.
I still see him.
My taste has definitely changed!

11:52 AM

Blogger hautemama said...

Wwwwelll? Does Rowan have good taste???

Happy Birthday Dahling!! Hope you get spoiled!!

1:07 PM

Anonymous dutch from sweet juniper said...

I picture Hulger to look like fabio's less bulky cousin, with long flowing locks and a tambourine. seriously: I need to remember that name in case I ever sire a masculine child.

2:20 PM

Blogger ninepounddictator said...

wwellll, let's just say he's a very nice man, very good with the kids, a very talented musician and my daughter and I have very different taste in men...Ha ha...

2:35 PM

Blogger Kristen said...

Oh I forgot! Happy Birthday! Mine's coming up in 2 weeks.

7:28 PM

Blogger Mom101 said...

Oh very happy birthday! I hope you get a Hulger with a big shiny ribbon. I mean...a gift. A gift. Isn't that what I said?

Meanwhile, I too messed up the order of that song in my own life. (Skipped the marriage part.) Glad to find another kindred spirit in that sense.

9:05 PM


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