Rebecca Eckler is one of Canada's most talked about newspaper columnists, the author of Knocked Up: Confessions of a Hip Mother to Be, which has been translated into nine languages. Also the author of the bestsellers, Wiped!, Toddlers Gone Wild, and Rotten Apple, the first in a YA series. Random thoughts on life in the competitive world of modern mommyhood. Blog will be loved by trendy mothers who still feel, or often feel, that the most important word in "mommee" is ME!

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Daddy's Day Disaster?

The Fiance is the type of guy who has everything. And he doesn't have very many hobbies, aside from golf and listening to me moan about my problems, which isn't so much a hobby as much as it is his second job.

Anyway, Daddy's Day is coming up, as I just realized, and I need suggestions and fast!

Actually, I lie. The Fiance does have hobbies. One hobby is cars. And, no, I cannot afford to buy him a ferrari.

He is also very into art. And, no, I cannot afford to buy him a Jack Bush painting.

And he's very into wine (and by wine, I mean alcohol, not me going, 'My ass is fat! My ass is fat! Why is my ass so fat?") And he has a wine cellar that has hundreds of bottles of wine that I'm not allowed to touch, because once I by accident grabbed a bottle to take to a friend's birthday party, only to find out after it was worth about $450.

For his birthday last year, I bought him a treadmill and a cool stationary bike with a built in air conditioner, which he loved. Or so he said. Between the two of us, we've used each about, um, 6 times. But that gift took me about four months to come up with. And I have only, what?, three days before Father's day?

Men are the worst to buy for. The fiance is the kind of guy who pretty much doesn't need or want much, but when he wants something he gets it himself. Digital camera? He bought it for himself. Ipod? Got it for himself. All things to do with golf? Gets it for himself.

And since I am no longer 18, I can't very well make him up a "coupon" for "Sex, baby, any way you want three times a week for a year" or or buy him a pair of boxer shorts with lips all over them. You know what I'm saying?

Last Father's Day, I bought a cup from starbucks that you could put all these pictures in. So I cut out a bunch of photos of The Dictator, stuck them in the cup, and gave it to him.

I was pretty excited about it, because I love photos of The Dictator. But The Fiance looked at the cup I made him for about 12 seconds, said it was "nice," and went back to watching some car race on television.

Now I could go on a rant about how much I hate the word "nice" when you do something you think is very thoughtful for someone. What the fuck is up with the Fiance saying, "It's nice." I kind of expected him to say something like, "Oh, Beck. That was the best present I have ever received and I couldn't have asked for anything better for Father's Day."

But I won't go on that rant because I have bigger problems which is what the fuck should I get him for Father's Day.

He doesn't like jewelry. He doesn't wear cologne. He already owns two expensive watches. He's very particular about what he wears and I don't even know his size.

I'm telling you, The Dude is impossible to buy for. And, let's face it, buying a tie or a book on barbecuing is kind of lame.

Of course I'll get The Dictator to scribble with a marker a line on a piece of paper and sign her name and write out "I Love You Daddy," but let's face it. Men don't see the beauty in art work by two year-olds like mothers do.

So what do you get the guy who has everything? (And, no, he refuses to go to spas, he already has a personal trainer.)

So what are you all doing for a gift for Father's Day?

Because at this point, I may well have to make him a coupon for "Sex five times a week for the rest of your life."

But we all know that would be a big lie.

Suggestions? Anyone?


Blogger JennC said...

Would a wine course/club be available in your neck of the woods?...

Special wine "fridge"?

Golf club cozies? Membership somewhere?

Tough one. I usually screw up father's day gifts so maybe I'm not the best person to ask...

1:53 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Men are the hardest to buy for and they never get excited...

Find an artist in Calgary and get them to do a quick sketch of The Dictator, Dude and you? One of those funny ones- it is kind of silly but they can be really silly and cute...

2:51 AM

Blogger metro mama said...

How 'bout breakfast in bed and a BJ?

4:22 AM

Anonymous Toronto Gal said...

How about renting a Ferrari or other super fancy sports car for a day a la Newlyweds Nick and Jessice on his birthday? Or a trip to the Niagara region for wine tasting? A big screen tv if you don't already have one?

4:40 AM

Blogger stkitts said...

In our family, we use special occasions to go out for nice or unusual meals. If the Fiance is a fan of a particular type of food which you normally don't eat, that might be an option?

Or sexy photos of yourself as a preview of the upcoming evening?
(it's a slightly more creative version of a coupon for one naughty night :))

5:10 AM

Blogger Laural Dawn said...

Okay - here's my father's day gift. But, it's kind of weird.
On Saturday Matty and I are giving Mike a day off. Completely. I am going with my niece and brother in law to Wonderland while Mike sleeps in as late as he wants and then at some point meets his best friend for lunch. (which will be probably around 3pm since he's sleeping in till at least noon).
And then on actual Father's Day I'm dressing Matthew up in a cool "I love my dad" hat and t-shirt and giving him a DVD.
Maybe I'll even make him breakfast since he loves Bacon. But, that is a stretch because I cannot for the life of me cook bacon.
Anyway, basically the gift is the break. And also the gift is that he is not being dragged to Wonderland.
Does that help? Probably not since you are in Calgary and there is no Wonderland.
My dad enjoys chocolate bars (my mom is a health nut) and we always give him chocolate bars.
You could sign him up for belly dancing classes. That would be funny!

6:15 AM


I think the best gift of all for a dad is to have a nag free day! Just sit back with no commitments and eat his favorite foods and do his favorite things. It shoudn't always be about gifts.

6:15 AM

Anonymous laura said...

Hmmm, this is a tough one. What about. . .a gift certificate? I know, I know, some people think gift certificates bite the big one, but I personally think they are great--especially if they're from a favourite store or something. Or what about taking him out for a fancy-schmancy dinner and then to a swanky hotel for sex? I mean, really, who could complain about getting sex? My guess he wouldn't be saying "oh, that was nice." (Which I hate too).

Or, um, what about taking him on one of those wine tour thingies when you guys are away? Or maybe he's the kind of wine afficiando (sp?) that he's done that a million times.

My vote is nice dinner and hotel outing. If I could afford it, that's what I'd do.

6:24 AM

Anonymous Shandra said...

For something cutesy I'd go to a large media store and pick out the five most ridiculous dad movies (Daddy Day Care, mr. Mom, etc.)

Failing that I would get my husband a really nice single malt scotch. That's always my backup gift.

6:32 AM

Blogger Sheena said...

Get him a bottle of Mario Andretti wine.

Sheena is a really big fan of killing two birds with one stone. And even if the wine is shit (never tried it) you can play up the cute car racing angle.

And a decanter dryer. Amazing how many wine enthusiasts fail to invest in a proper decanter dryer. Boggles the mind.

6:42 AM

Blogger bubandpie said...

Father's Day is coming up?? Oh, no... (scrambles to revise "To do" list)

6:52 AM

Blogger Maddie's Mom said...

I am in the same boat...there comes a time when another golf shirt or worse shirt and tie is just too much!

What about tickets to the F1 race in Montreal? The race is next weekend, the city rocks and you can spend time shopping in Montreal! The race is actually really exciting and you can cheer for Renault (this driver is the leadrer) or Ferrari and make it fun and competitive. Or better still, check the Formula 1 schedule when you are in Europe and do a race there. Trust me-its a lot of fun.

If hes not into that then book tickets for you and a girlfriend to go-its 99% men, some Eurotrash and the best weekend of the year!

7:34 AM

Blogger Gabriella said...

Here are my suggestions, although I'm not sure as to the cost! I too have a hard time getting my husband something as he has everything. This year I got him a gift certificate to buy a fishing rod...I have run out of ideas for him, but in your case, how about buying tickets for next year's F1 race in Montreal in June. The race is this the weekend of the 23rd so I think all the tix are sold out but next year would be good, or I'm definetly not sure about the cost but how much do you think it would be to rent a Ferrari for a couple of hours???? Just a suggestion!!!

8:17 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Two words -- satellite radio. All men dig toys, and satellite radio is a seriously fun toy for the car. I got my Sirius as an early Father's Day gift last week, and it is terrific.

8:25 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

There are racing schools in the US - look it up as I cannot remember - they actually teach on well known racetracks. You can give him a weekend at a racing school.

8:35 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am in the same boat as you, I have decided to get my hausband one of those new hybrid golf clubs (a cross between an iron and a fairway wood). Of course he has to try them out for himself to see which one he wants so I just told him that was his gift and he can go and pick it out whenever he wants. I guess that is a bit lazy on my part but he seemed happy enough about it.

8:47 AM

Anonymous Toronto Gal said...

I saw some pairs today of Louis Vuitton sunglasses for men- really really nice and useful- he can use them in Provence! They all also have Louis briefcases and businessy accessories and as I recall you did get your Louis purse...

8:55 AM

Anonymous mothergoosemouse said...

Well, we're going to Dave and Buster's so that Kyle can play video games, and then out for pizza. Is there some place that the Fiance really loves to go?

9:22 AM

Blogger stepmommie2 said...

..i am in the same who have everything (this includes my husband) are so hard to buy for.... a massage therapist hired to come to your home and help him relax on sunday...?

10:07 AM

Blogger Ashley said...

I'm getting my Dad a bike jersey with Oscar the Grouch on it... I suppose that doesn't help thought! Sorry... good luck! Let us know what you decide on :)

10:24 AM

Blogger Ali said...

men are impossible.

i got the husband a gift he really liked, though.
he loves to BBQ. so i got him this program that will print a hardcover cookbook for you - so he's doing all the work - putting together his favorite bbw recipes and then they are doing the rest of the work - printing it.

so, it was the perfect gift. he really liked it and i did nothing. :)

11:30 AM

Anonymous girlygirl said...

Last year I went to Birks, got a sterling silver money clip and had it engraved with his intials. He loves it.

11:40 AM

Blogger Sara Bingham said...

How about a really cool, comfortable lounge chair for the backyard for afternoon naps - that way you can use it too!

11:50 AM

Anonymous Melissa said...

Here's an idea that I came up with for one of my husband's birthday presents. I made a big sign that said "Happy Birthday, Brian!" and decorated it. Then I sent it to the manager of his favorite band along with a disposable camera and a self addressed box with return postage on it. The manager then took photos of everyone in the band holding the sign one night while they were at someone's house having a big party. It's my husband's most prized possession and it didn't cost much at all. In fact, money really couldn't buy it!

Anyway, modify the idea a little, make a sign that says "Happy Father's Day, ___" and take it around town asking all sorts of random people to hold it (construction workers, nuns, you get the idea) Then develop the photos, put in an album and you'd have something unique- and potentialy hilarious. (you could take one of his $400 dollar bottles of wine around and ask ppl to act like they are drinking it out of the bottle, etc. You get the picture.)

11:54 AM

Blogger Accidental Lawyer said...

I liked Shandra's single malt scotch idea. Even if he doesn't drink it himself, he can keep it in his office (he is a lawyer, right?). Very handy for after work drinks with colleagues, or for celebrating closings with clients.

To go with it, you could get him a couple of exquisite scotch glasses.

12:08 PM

Blogger MommyWithAttitude said...

I'm totally no help. I never have to pick a gift for my husband because a month before any day he would get gifts he says, "I want (fill in the blank) for (fill in the blank) day."

And I say, "Okay."

And he says, "So can I go get it this afternoon?"

Sure, whatever.

12:10 PM

Anonymous sskellington said...

It's gets harder as the years go by too!

Everyone in our family makes a wish list (birthday, christmas, father's day, mother's day) and either adds to the list or takes away as they get the gifts. This makes it easier on everyone AND they get the gifts they REALLY wanted.

I know it takes the surprise out of the whole deal but I think I would rather get something I REALLY want rather than what someone THINKS I want.

12:26 PM

Blogger Annie, The Evil Queen said...

Andretti wine is an excellent suggestion. The wine is good and he probably doesn't have any yet.

We live in Monterey and there is a race driving school/camp type thing here. You could send him off to camp.

12:47 PM

Blogger Annie, The Evil Queen said...

Oh Oh! OR, you could get him a wine club membership (ie. Sebastiani, Sterling, Andretti) and then he'll get wine every month or quarterly. Like fruit of the month club only way better.

12:53 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is how my husband gets out of buying me anything for Mother's Day: "You're not my mother" ... I get a hug from my kids and the cheesy crafts that they do at the dayhome/school. And guess what? That works for me because then the pressure is off for Father's Day because he typically goes shopping for himself before all gift-giving occasions and screws up any good ideas I might have had.

So, I say do the scribble thing by the Dictator, get her to give him an extra big hug on Sunday morning and call it DONE!

1:13 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Cuff links and a subscription to his favorite F1 racing magazine...

2:13 PM

Blogger Mom101 said...

Dahlink, if you have that kind of budget and he has that kind of taste then I say go the other direction. get him the most heartfelt book you can think of about fathering. It's father's day, not your anniversary. You don't have to go big. Go sentimental. In my humble opinion.

Then again, my guy is getting Yankees-Mets subway series tickets. Boo-ya!

4:04 PM

Blogger Kristen said...

I bought Tim a DVD, some cologne, some really nice shaving stuff, and some stuff for his feet. He's been complaining a lot lately about how much they hurt at work- so I got him gel insoles for his work shoes, foot calming lotion, and some flip flops to air them out at home. LOL.

But seriously- there are some really nice mens face care lines at the department stores- they have face care and shaving stuff. Maybe that would be good?

7:46 PM

Blogger Jennifer P said...

Is there anything in Italy that you can get/do? That way you can give him a card or something saying that it'll be a surprise, and give yourself some breathing room until your trip?
Oh, and I got my husband the Starbucks cup for Christmas, and it backfired to. By that I mean he said it was "nice".

8:20 PM

Blogger Blog-o-licious said...

...sorry, I'm gonna be the wet blanket here, Father's day is what I perceive to be a day of appreciation for the actual Dad, it's not and never will be about stuff. Does he or did have a good relationship with his dad? That might hold the key to what might make him most intune with the whole father's day thing.

8:53 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Green Fees at an upscale resort...somewhere he's never been?

5:52 AM

Blogger JennC said...

Hey... Thought of you when I walked past a posh wine shop and saw a leatherbound wine and spirits dictionary ("Dictionnaire des vins et alcools") in the window. Wondered if something like that could be what you are looking for... though I see that your other commenters have had some excellent suggestions...
Cheers and good luck.

6:24 AM

Blogger Haley-O said...

Oh gosh...thanks for reminding me that I need to get another gift for Josh...because the book I got him--a companion book to the show "Lost"--is not going to cut it on it's own....

9:24 AM

Blogger Sara Bingham said...

I did the "happy father's day sign" photo with my kids a few weeks before father's day one year and had it put in a nice frame...the idea was to use the same sign each year and take updated photos...oops! Gotta go make a new sign!

I love the band photo idea! Anyone have the mailing address for Coldplay?

10:58 AM

Blogger Food Mum said...

I agree with the anon who said that Father's Day is for the kids to give something. A card, some cookies they helped bake or just bringing him breakfast in bed. Maybe at the Dictator's age that would be a bit risky but the card should be cool, if she gives it to him herself he should come up with something more enthusiastic than 'nice' (switch the TV off first though!)
That's what it's supposed to be about for me anyway. I agree it's hard to find a good gift idea though, my husband also going out to buy what he wants before I've had the chance to surprise him.

11:06 AM

Anonymous Karla said...

Uh's fathers day??? C-raaaap.

1:20 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

All three of my would-be suggestions are taken, but as a guy, let me second

Cuff Links
Single Malt Scotch
Andretti wine

6:43 PM


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