Know a Spell?
For changing my luck?
Seriously. I've been in a bad state recently. I can't shake it. Bad things keep happening to me.
Rather, people keep disappointing me.
The fiance always says, in not so many words, that I do not live in reality.
He's been saying this for years. Basically, that I expect to much from people and the world is a shitty place. Of course, he's a lawyer and that's a very competitive industry with a bunch of not-so-nice people who can argue very well. Maybe it is shitty to work in a law office.
But I work by myself...
Anyway, OK, maybe its true that I expect a lot from people, but I don't think so. And I'm still in a shitty state whether I have expectations or not. And I don't think they're high expectations just, you know, common courtesy.
So many little bad things have happened to me lately that I can't help but start to think it's me. It's me and my luck. Yes, these are little things, but they all add up you know? They all add up to me being in a shitty, depressed state. I hate being depressed.
First, the nanny-thief incident really affected me. I've been depressed about that for days. I know I should be happy that I got my stuff back, but still...I feel like I don't have a good grasp on humans. My judgement is all off.
Then a friend of mine was very rude to me, calling me and then basically hanging up on me when someone *more important* (more important than me? What the fuck?) walked up to him. It was so rude that I refused to take his calls for a week.
I mean, you can't talk, then don't call until you have time! Ok, I know this is all lame, but it disappointed me.
Then another friend disappointed me because I always thought they were so confident, so successful, had everything, but then they leave a message basically asking me if I thought they were awesome. Does this make sense? I mean, who asks a person if they think that they are awesome?
It disappointed me because, though I know everyone has bouts of insecurity, I just didn't see it coming. Is the whole world insecure? I mean, that sucks.
Then my friend is going through an awful break-up and I tell you, I'm stunned by human nature and how awful this man was to her. It depressed me too because my friend is so depressed and this guy was such a jerk. It depressed me, because I think I have a fairly good handle on men, but this story just freaked me out. I had never heard of a man being so mean.
Then, another person I know, I think is lying to me about something and I can't deal. Rather, it's not so much a lie as just not telling the truth and I don't know how to deal with people like that anymore. Do the games ever end?
So, in the past two weeks, I've had a thief, a rude person, a maybe-liar, a very insecure person. a sad friend, and I can't help but think that something has got to change...
So, if you know a spell where I have to cut off a chunk of hair and mix it with some spice and say a spell, let me know...