Rebecca Eckler is one of Canada's most talked about newspaper columnists, the author of Knocked Up: Confessions of a Hip Mother to Be, which has been translated into nine languages. Also the author of the bestsellers, Wiped!, Toddlers Gone Wild, and Rotten Apple, the first in a YA series. Random thoughts on life in the competitive world of modern mommyhood. Blog will be loved by trendy mothers who still feel, or often feel, that the most important word in "mommee" is ME!

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

The Dictator is Furious...

at me.

Well, at least she was last night at about midnight. I don't think I've ever had someone that mad at me.

I was super exhausted from attending an evening yoga class (the instructor only called out my name 22 times last night to correct my postures. It was a great class! As a side note, how is it that yoga instructors who have never met you always know your name? Ok, I know they probably watch us sign in our names, but how do they actually remember our names? Anyway...)

I mean going to an evening yoga class was great in the sense that the class ended at 7:45 p.m. which meant I got home at 8 p.m. which meant The Dictator should have been in bed.

It's just been one of those weeks (OK, two weeks) where the Dictator hasn't slept through the night, so again I'm a walking talking zombie. Well, a walking zombie who can almost put together a sentence.

The point is, I was excited that maybe she'd be in bed. When I'm at home, she only lets me put her to bed. But when someone else does it, she seems to go to bed a lot easier and quicker and falls asleep almost immediately.

In any case, I was so exhausted from this so-NOT-a-Level-One yoga class (even though it was, in fact, a level one yoga class) that I was in bed by 10:30 p.m. which is really early for me. I'm a night person. I could watch re-runs of Will and Grace until one in the morning. Ok, now I'm really sounding pathetic, but it's true.

Anyway, I was so fast asleep until I heard my daughter sudden wailing, "Mommee!!! Where are you?? WHERE ARE YOU? WHERE ARE YOU?"

I thought if I ignored her, it might be one of those far and few between lucky times when she'd just fall back asleep.

She so did not fall back asleep. She just kept screaming, "WHERE ARE YOU? YOU HAVE TO SLEEP WITH ME!!!!!"

I trudged to her room and she started screaming at me that I was "NEVER supposed to not sleep with her."

"You are always supposed to sleep with me," she screamed. "You are never supposed to sleep in the other bed. NEVER!"

I mean, the gal was pissed off at me. Truly pissed off.

Because I was half asleep I didn't really want to get into explaining how or why I couldn't always sleep with her. I just wanted to sleep. I also was so not going to beg for forgiveness - "I'm so sorry, sweetie. I promise I'll always sleep with you - because she's three and I'm so not always going to sleep with her. And, really, do you have to beg for forgiveness to a three-year old.

Granted, I do hate when she gets mad at me.

I just got into her bed and slept in a wet patch of diet ginger ale on her Dora the Explorer sheets that are about as comfortable as sleeping on sandpaper.

Yes, diet ginger ale is the drink of choice she goes to bed with these days. She doesn't actually drink it, so much as just hold the cup, so please don't yell at me because I let my child go to bed with a sippy cup of diet Canada Dry, that leaks all over the bed that I ended up sleeping in.

Please, I already have a three year old mad at me.


Blogger Devra said...

I remember when both of my sons hit three I felt like they were staging an interpretive dance titled "Zombie Mommy and the musical beds" They too would waltz into our room and nary the thought crossed their mind of "Maybe mom and dad are asleep and I should just go back to bed." Oh hell no. It was more like "let me stand silently at the side of the bed with just my eyes open and staring at my mommy until she wakes up and I scare the ever living crap out of her. If I had been a cat, our ceiling would have multiple claw marks.

It wasn't pretty but they both survived to see their fourth birthdays.

9:22 PM

Anonymous Sarah said...

that's so funny! i understand the happiness of having your child sleeping when you get home. Mine were so crabby yesterday I had them both in bed asleep by 6:37. 10 minutes later when my husband got home and saw me sipping wine alone on the porch swing, i swear he did a happy-dance. sorry your sleep was short-lived!

5:17 AM

Anonymous Erica said...

Oh my god! My daughter was mad at me yesterday too!!!! She will be 3 on June 10 and is NOT a morning girl. I had to wake her up at 7:00 to get her ready for daycare so I could go to work. She freaked! She started screaming, "You didn't check on me last night", which I did a bunch of times because she's so cute when she sleeps. But she was asleep so how could she know that I checked on her? Then she was screaming that she didn't want to get up, and she didn't want to get dressed. Ugh! I have a super cute 3 year old with major morning attitude!!!

6:57 AM

Blogger Laural said...

I think this is what happens when kids are three. My son is total attitude. He is so adament about EVERYTHING. Last night he wanted candy before bed. We could not talk him out of it - so he finally got sugarless gum.
But the anger ... where does it come from? I love 3 - but there are moments.
And, I have to admit, I routinely go to the gym at about 7:30/8. My son is so much better at the bedtime routine with my husband. So, why fight that? And then I come home and read him a story if he's still up. (but then he gets out of bed)

8:11 AM

Blogger Her Bad Mother said...

Gotta love a girl who knows what she wants ;)

9:17 AM

Anonymous JoAnne said...

Considering the amount of diet Canada Dry (and by the way, there is no substitution), I've consumed during this pregnancy, it wouldn't suprise me if my child demanded the bubbly at bed time as well.

10:27 AM

Blogger petite gourmand said...

so much for Namaste..

10:58 AM

Blogger Santi Marie said...

hahaha! Indeed, so much for Namaste! I recently became a dad and not a day pass that I don't miss her (need to work in the city). Here's looking forward to being with her and to little girls' mood swings! :-)


7:30 AM


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