Rebecca Eckler is one of Canada's most talked about newspaper columnists, the author of Knocked Up: Confessions of a Hip Mother to Be, which has been translated into nine languages. Also the author of the bestsellers, Wiped!, Toddlers Gone Wild, and Rotten Apple, the first in a YA series. Random thoughts on life in the competitive world of modern mommyhood. Blog will be loved by trendy mothers who still feel, or often feel, that the most important word in "mommee" is ME!

Wednesday, June 28, 2006


If you have a weak stomach, do NOT read this. In fact, I'm getting sick just writing about it.

Out of the blue on Sunday, The Dictator started puking.

She'd puke, and then be fine and play around, and then she'd puke again.

I hate puke. Really. I hate when other people puke, I hate puking myself, and, it turns out, I really hate being puked on.

Unfortunately, The Dictator started puking while we were at a theme park. Now, The Dictator and I have been on merry go rounds and Ferris wheels before. She loves fast rides. So I knew it had nothing with the rides.

Plus, a couple days earlier, I had been puking. But I thought it was because I had taken The Dictator to the Dora The Explorer Concert and I ate an entire bag of candy floss....and pizza....and popcorn...and cookies. Then I had the chills. I figured Dora The Explorer basically gave me the flu.

But here we were at this theme park, a couple days later, and The Dictator started puking, out of the blue, while we were walking around.

The Fiance wanted to go home immediately. But The Dictator, aside from puking, seemed fine. She was happy, she didn't have a fever, and she had seen the Ferris wheel.

"I want to go on the Ferris Wheel!" she screamed, when I suggested to her maybe we should go home. "FERRIS WHEEL! FERRIS WHEEL!"

"She wants to go on the Ferris wheel," I told The Fiance.

"I don't think that's a good idea," he said.

But The Dictator seemed ok. I swear. Also, I never listen to what is a "good idea." Which is why I ended up being puked on.

We got on the Ferris Wheel, all three of us squished together, and everything was fine. Then, I swear, two seconds before we were to get off, the Dictator puked - all over me, and the ride, in front of a ton of people lining up to get on the Ferris wheel.

I could hear them all, "I'm not getting on THAT seat," they were saying.

I felt so bad for The Dictator. Toddlers do not get puking. They don't understand what's happening. I also felt bad for the teenage ride operators who had to clean up the seat. (Being covered in puke myself, I couldn't really give them a hand. I would have just made it worse.)

Anyway, I told The Dictator that everything was ok, it's just a little puke (It was a lot of puke - in fact, how is it possible that so much comes out of something so small?) took her to the restroom and changed her (See? I have learned how to be a mother! I always bring TWO extra changes of clothes for her on big outings.)

Also, because I guess The Dictator got scared because she was puking, she also peed herself. (She no longer wears diapers during the day!)

I know. Lovely.

It was also lovely how The Dictator puked on me two more times on the way back to the car. When she pukes, she wants me to hug her. It's a hard thing to hug your child, while being puked on at the same time.

Anyway, I was reading this blog last night where a mother mentioned that mothers never appreciate the good things they do for their children, and we're always mentioning our faults as mothers.

It's kind of true isn't it?

Well, let's just say, I did a fantastic job taking care of The Dictator during Puke-a-Polooza. I never knew I had it in me. Yes, I didn't *like* being puked on, but The Dictator is my daughter and I love her and I felt awful for her.

So, of course, I hugged her while she puked on me. (Did I mention THREE times?) And I changed her. And I made her feel better. She even said, "I feel better now mommy." Cute huh?

But now The Fiance has the flu. I love him too. But, nuh-uh. He ain't puking on me.

Now...Canadian Idol Fans!!!! I love Nancy Silverman. You go girl! You have my vote. I'm putting my support behind you!!!


Anonymous mothergoosemouse said...

Oh, poor Dictator (and poor you and poor fiance). But - a bag of candy floss for you? And a ferris wheel ride when the child has already puked without the aid of a ride? I'm sorry to giggle, but I'm having a tough time restraining myself.

I've blogged quite a bit about how much I hate puking. Fortunately, I rarely puke. Same for Kyle and the girls.

Tacy puked once in the middle of the night, just after she turned two. Blueberries and cheese. Everywhere. Absolutely horrifying. But absolutely adorable when she saw how I had cleaned up her bed (and carpet and walls and...) and exclaimed, "I throwed up in my bed, but Mommy cleaned it up! Thank you Mommy!"

9:56 AM

Blogger chichimama said...

ULgh. YOu were a good, good mommy. I HATE the puke-fests. Hate, hate, hate them. Hope everyone is recovered soon...

10:13 AM

Blogger Ashley said...

Oi... I don't do well with puke. I'm glad that she's feeling better now though, sucks being sick especially in the summer!!

Hope the Fiance feels better soon!

10:14 AM

Blogger metro mama said...

Funny! Yep, you are a good mama.

I too am amazed at the noxious substances I can put up with from Cakes--I never thought I'd see the day. I remember the not-so-distant days when the only puke I ever dealt with was my own after a night of too much fun.

10:56 AM

Anonymous laura said...

Oh my, I do hope Dictator and The Fiance are feeling much better! Oh jeez, I almost cry when someone around me pukes and I cry like a baby when I puke myself. All I hope is that the pukefest is indeed over soon.

OMG--Canadian Idol! I LOVED Nancy Silverman. I'm behind her 110%. She's got that "it" factor. Oooh, and I am a big fan of the last Ashley that performed. You belt it, girls!

11:54 AM

Blogger Jen said...

My daughter had rotavirus which caused her to puke 26 times in 24 hours. It was terrible. Puke makes me want to puke. But, I'd rather be puked on then have to clean up the puddle of puke that managed to fly above my shoulder.

You are a good momma!

12:10 PM

Blogger Laural Dawn said...

Why did I continue to eat my lunch while reading about the Dictator puking? I don't know.
Way to be a good mom and dole out the hugs despite the puke. I hate hate hate puke. My son knows this though, and can actually make himself barf when he's upset.
This is awful - but he did it so much for a brief period that my husband called him bulimia baby. I know. So not PC - but we were thinking it may be true.

12:29 PM

Anonymous Nancy said...

Oh no! Puking's no fun for anyone. I hope that the Dictator feels better soon, and particularly that there's No More Puke!

5:53 PM

Blogger Village Mama said...

I think the moment I realized that I had transitioned from just being the mommy of a baby to being a real, war-weary mommy that I seem to be now was the first night that I got completely covered in puke - when Bum-bum was 6 months old. I too was absolutely amazed that so much disgusting, foul smelling slime could come out of such a small person!

I won't even begin to tell you about the time that some of it got in my own mouth...I agree with the other mommy that we don't give ourselves enough credit. Stuff like that sucks, but think about how many memories we all have of our moms taking care of us when we were sick. I think it's all worth it in the end!

6:05 PM

Blogger Kristen said...

I wish I could watch Canadian Idol with you!! I'm sorry you got puked on so much, lol- my personal fav is getting poop on you. It's so much fun. lol.

6:30 PM

Blogger petite gourmand said...

oh poor thing.
we had a bit of a pukefest as well this weekend.
sunday immediately after feeding lulu, she projectiled all over big daddy and herself.
this was our first experience with baby barf (aside from the early milky months)
sweet potatoes look exactly the same coming out as they do going in...
good times.
hope everyone is feeling better soon.

7:14 PM

Blogger Mother Bumper said...

Long time lurker, first time commenter. You are one great momma to take that much puke. And to hug her too? That is so sweet. I have yet to experience this pleasure but I hope I cope as well as you did.

7:31 PM

Blogger Anjali said...

We had the same stuff go around our house recently. I guess that US/Canadian border doesn't prevent stomach bugs from gettting though? Sounds like despite the pukefest, you still had a wonderful time at the park!

7:41 PM

Blogger owlhaven said...

ewwww.. now that's one ferris wheel ride you won't forget!

Mary, mom to many

9:30 PM

Blogger Blog-o-licious said...

Your turn to all get better. Nothing worse than puking, or reading about puking, let's get back to kittens and the bitches that hate you! :)in due time however.

9:50 PM

Blogger Sheena said...

One of my earliest childhood memories is riding in the back of a Greyhound bus from Brandon to Winnipeg with my mother and then baby sister.

I got car sick all over my sister in the bus. Years later, I wonder how the hell my mother did it. She was probably 23 or 24 at the time.

3:32 AM

Blogger Jezer said...

You hugged your baby while she puked on you? You are the Mother of the Year, hands down.

I hope you are all better very, very soon.

6:13 AM

Blogger stepmommie2 said...

I'm not bad with the puking....for some reason it is the nose bleeds I cannot handle... I can take bleeding knees, even scrapes on faces but bleeding noses ...make me weak!!! I have 2 step kids and I know that maybe it would be different if they came from 'my womb'....well that's what my friends say (don't really believe that!) ... I think even my own kids would make ME wanna PUKE if I saw their nose bleed...I Love that you made her feel better after 3x puking on you....and she looked cute too! Kids are cute even with puke all over them just not blood!

10:17 AM

Anonymous chelle said...

I feel the same way about puke and I have "let" my daughter puke on me too!! That is real true blue love!

10:38 AM

Blogger Jennifer P said...

Is it true about it being different when it's your own kid? I puke at the sight, smell, or sound of someone puking. I'm afraid that reflex won't go away.

5:35 PM


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