Rebecca Eckler is one of Canada's most talked about newspaper columnists, the author of Knocked Up: Confessions of a Hip Mother to Be, which has been translated into nine languages. Also the author of the bestsellers, Wiped!, Toddlers Gone Wild, and Rotten Apple, the first in a YA series. Random thoughts on life in the competitive world of modern mommyhood. Blog will be loved by trendy mothers who still feel, or often feel, that the most important word in "mommee" is ME!

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Tori Spelling...Mary Jo...Deany-boy...

I'm probably an awful Canadian for not knowing who Mary Jo Eustace was before the news came out that she was a Canadian television personality who had been dumped by her husband for Tori Spelling.

Apparently, a lot of Canadians know who she is and love her. I hear she's drop dead gorgeous and very funny.

And, of course, she's made the news a lot in the past couple days.

Was she or was she not asked to leave the Much Music Video Awards by Tori Spelling? Oh my god! Will we EVER know what exactly happened?

I so don't care. Ok, I lie. I care a little, because I enjoy celebrity gossip. But I also care because I find the whole thing so fascinating and sad.

As a mother that is...

I could go on a rant about how I think it's stupid for scorned women to write a book, especially using the woman's name who stole their husband, in the title of that book.

Yes, "My husband left me for Tori Spelling" does sound funny and has a good ring to it.

But, seriously, why exactly does one want to bank off the fact she was dumped for a C-list celebrity? (And, trust me, she will never sell enough books to make it worth her while.)

Or I could go on about how stupid it is for people to only blame Tori for this marriage break up. I'm not sticking up for Tori, I'm just saying that, um, it takes TWO to hook up. Shouldn't Deany-boy also be blamed if blame needs to be placed?

I just hate it when women are always blamed entirely for a breakup of a marriage. Why do the HUSBANDS always get off scott-free? Please, I can't imagine Tori having that much power. Deany-boy should take responsibility for his own actions in his marriage break up.

Or I could go on a rant about why a woman would show up at an event, invited or not, knowing her ex and his new wife would be there, just to give her a look.

I mean, come on! They are MARRIED now. Giving an evil look will not change anything. When has given another woman you hate "a look" ever made any woman feel better about a bad breakup - for more than three minutes?

And, really, was it that important to go to the Much Music Video Awards?

But mostly I want to rant about why anyone - Tori, Mary Jo, Deany-boy - would say anything to the press, and do things in public, they know will end up in the press, knowing they have children? (This includes Tori who is now a step-mom to these children, like it or not.)

I always think that even if The Fiance and I break up, that I'd never say anything negative about him, because of The Dictator, especially in public. Even if he did something awful, he's still the father of our child. And he's a good father too. (I think you can be a good parent, if not a good partner.)

We all have friends, I'm sure, who have gone through bad divorces, who hate each other (for legitimate reasons) and the kids never benefit from two parents hating each other. Or at least hearing about how much their mommy hates daddy and how much daddy hates mommy.

Britney may not have chosen the best of husbands, but, to give her credit, she at least seems to know enough that talking trash about him in public will not be good for their child or soon to be second child.

Same with Tom and Nicole. At least, even if they hate each other, they stay united as parents.

When celebrities have bad break ups, I'm always grateful when they never had children. Hello? Who doesn't feel for Charlie and Denise's children, no matter who did what in that relationship?

The point is, these people are parents and they should be parents before being celebrities. If you know you are a celebrity (even a D-list one) and had a bad break up that people are interested in, don't stir the pot.

Sure, the public is interested (who are we kidding?) but that doesn't mean you need to make it more interesting for us.

Everyone in this Tori Spelling circle should probably take a look at the kids and watch what they're doing. I think it's called growing up.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Just curious - were Father's Day gifts well recieved?

1:57 PM

Blogger Her Bad Mother said...

I so totally hear you on this. The worst thing about all of these scandalous 'celebrity' break-ups is that children are involved. "Yes, sweetie, Mommy *did* write a book about how Daddy left us for a skanked-out tart."

And YES, buddy who left his wife for Tori should absolutely be getting the shit-storm here. 12 years and 2 children and he drops her for Tori freakin' Spelling. (I'm guessing to further his career. You know, go from Z list to C list like *that*)

And, and - according to Shinan Govani, who was at the MMVA with Mary-Jo Eustace, Tori absolutely gave the order and they were told to go sit in a room until Tori was gone.

(Yes, am babbling and ranting. The whole thing bugs me. And makes me feel a little dirty. WHY DO I CARE?)

3:22 PM

Blogger Sheena said...

Isn't it an odd coincindence that Aaron Spelling had a stroke today? Is it a Deaner ploy to get his hands on the big bucks? Did Mary Jo set this whole thing up? Or did Aaron watch a rerun of What's Cooking, get confused and think his daughter was married to Ken Kostiuk?

3:27 PM

Anonymous mummy V said...

preach on mother eckler!

great post. i absolutely hate it when women only see the other woman as the sole reason for a man leaving them... perhaps it's easier to blame an outside source than to think you made a bad choice in a partner... and as hard as it may be, bad mouthing them is going to do absolutely no good for the poor child - the worst thing for children is the confusion - if mom hates dad, how does she feel about me, i'm half his kid etc...

3:35 PM

Anonymous wendy boucher said...

I love celebrity gossip. But I totally agree with you about the parental aspect. Be parents first; snarky, vengeful, scorned ex-spoused second - meaning not at all.

I also agree about Tori Spelling. If my Hubby had left me for her, I might have laughed about it.

3:48 PM

Blogger Haley-O said...

I was appalled when Tori ripped up Mary Jo Eustace in such a public forum. Appalled. It was so immature and, as you demonstrated, totally irresponsible. You're right, you gotta feel for the kids--not only because their parents are openly fighting (as if that's not bad enough), but also because their mother was totally bashed on public TV. I don't know much about Mary Jo's book. From the sounds of it (or, the sound of it's title...), she's not innocent here either. Pa-the-tic.

I just couldn't believe Tori was being like that--she's obviously kind of obsessed with the whole Mary Jo thing, and maybe even threatened by her...otherwise, why use your 2 seconds of publicity to bash her?

By the way, Mary Jo Eustace was the co-host on "What's for Dinner" (with Ken Costick). I remember she was pregnant on the show....

3:59 PM

Anonymous Mary Jo said...

You should talk! You're lecturing ME on sharing too much of my personal life??!!

4:16 PM

Blogger Annie, The Evil Queen said...

I don't know if the celebrities are making worse life decisions than the rest of us or if it just seems that way because they are in the papers. But sometimes you'd swaer they all put their brains into cold storage for the century. I totally agree that if you are a parent you need to be a parent first(as well as an adult)in trying circumstances. If your ex is truly as asshole, the kids will figure it out for themselves when they get older. You telling them that when they are 6 isn't going to help them out.

10:10 PM

Anonymous laura said...

Yes! Finally, someone to classify Tori Spelling's star power!!! A D-list actress! I can't tell you how much I love it.

And you're right, you're right, you're right--it takes TWO people to have an affair. I don't know, maybe I am too judgmental, but who would marry a man who cheats on his wife with you (you being the "other lady")? Yes, I know, lots of people. I just couldn't. Not just out of bad conscience but on moral and self-respecting grounds. A wise woman once said to me, "How you met him, is how you'll lose him" and wow, did that ever end up being the case.

Ah! I love your blog. Always such interesting stuff. :)

6:54 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

A pox on all of their houses. Yes, Tori Spelling is a home-wrecking bimbo, (the plastic surgery has made her even less attractive), and yes, McDermott is a gold-digging alley cat. Having said that, there is something faintly stalker-ish about Mary Jo's appearance at the awards show. By all means, write the tell-all book and take him to the cleaners in the divorce (she might as well get some of Aaron Spelling's money as well), but to trail her ex around like that is kind of sad.

8:42 AM

Blogger Ashley said...

I completely agree that they should be decent for the children. However, I would much rather rant about one of your other points. How come it is ALWAYS the woman's fault?? I mean, COME ON! The man obviously had something to do in this situation, even the most scorn of lovers should be able to see that. But they don't. It pisses me off so much that men get away with cheated while the 'other woman' is blamed and chastised.

8:45 AM

Blogger alligot said...

get your 'Tori stole my man' 'Team Fire Crotch' 'Divorce Kevin' 'Save SPF'
t-shirt right here

11:07 AM

Anonymous chelle said...

lol I had no idea there was a Canadian girl involved in this!! Poor kids, it sucks when the parents get all immature after a divorce.

I am with you on the c-list insult!!

2:29 PM

Blogger Laclos said...

Hey, everyone over here who isnt in the grip of World Cup madness is totally obsesed with Big Brother. Hows that for Z-list celebs. Tori Spelling is a little like Paris Hilton in that I know who she is but not what she does. Anyway since every moron and his gardener seem to becoming "celebs" or "reality show contestants", I'm just waiting for my turn. ;-)

10:22 PM

Blogger ninepounddictator said...

Well, if you must know, Tori Spelling is now on a show called So-Notorious. I watched it in Arizona, a couple months back, and I have got to say, I kind of liked it. She makes fun of herself, and what everyone thinks about her. It is pretty funny, so if it comes to Canada, which I think it is, check it out. She makes fun of her upbringing, 90210, it's funny....(not as funny as Curb your enthusiasm, but....)

12:52 AM

Blogger K8o said...

Just finished reading your book, glad to hear that book two is in the works.

3:08 AM

Blogger Blog-o-licious said...

Yes, I read all the words, but I got stuck at 'awful Canadian', I didn't know you could put those two words in the same sentence.
Tori...too damn skinny to exist!

7:39 AM

Anonymous Nancy said...

LOL at the comment from "Mary Jo" above -- hahahahaha!

Those Much Music Video Awards sound like they were tres controversial. I wrote about Jose Theodore hooking up with Paris Hilton at the afterparty in my blog the other night. At least in THAT case the guy's getting as much flak as the girl for his actions (if not more so).

9:43 AM

Blogger MommyWithAttitude said...

I totally agree. Publicity whores are amusing, until they're willing to throw their own kids under the bus, then they're dispicable.

10:27 AM


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