Rebecca Eckler is one of Canada's most talked about newspaper columnists, the author of Knocked Up: Confessions of a Hip Mother to Be, which has been translated into nine languages. Also the author of the bestsellers, Wiped!, Toddlers Gone Wild, and Rotten Apple, the first in a YA series. Random thoughts on life in the competitive world of modern mommyhood. Blog will be loved by trendy mothers who still feel, or often feel, that the most important word in "mommee" is ME!

Friday, June 16, 2006

Will and Grace, The Fiance and Me

The other night The Fiance and I got into a "discussion" about the television show Will and Grace.

I use quotes around the word "discussion" because it wasn't quite an argument, but it wasn't not an argument either. What it was was a discussion with quotes around the word discussion. If you know what I mean...

And it wasn't so much a "discussion" about Will and Grace as it was a discussion over whether or not we've become boring.

Personally, I think every couple who becomes parents wonder if they've become boring. Haven't you?

This is how our "discussion" began.

I had just come back from a four day child-free jaunt in Toronto. My plane landed in Toronto at 4 p.m. on Friday. By 6 p.m. I was at The Spoke Club with two friends.

Saturday, I woke up, met my Canadian Idol Judge friend for brunch and we spent the afternoon shopping. Saturday evening, I went to a cocktail party at my agent's house, and continued partying with some writers, and my best friend Lou Lou, until 2 a.m. at The Drake.

Sunday, my parents came over and we went for brunch in Yorkville. Then I headed to Book Expo, which was a gathering of publishers and writers and editors.

Sunday night, um, can't remember what I did. Oh, right, I watched Curb Your Enthusiasm on DVD, because I was hungover.

Monday morning, I worked on my Globe and Mail column and then met with a television producer to talk about possible television shows to pitch to networks.

Monday evening I went to Margaret Atwood's home and out for dinner with a friend. (Ok, I'm sorry to name drop, but come on! It's Peggy, who is my Idol and I'm her stalker. Ok, I'm not her stalker. Let's just say I'm her number one fan - bahahaha.)

Tuesday, I met with an Academy Award nominated documentary filmmaker, who I may possibly work on a project with, then to my agent's house to discuss future book projects, then I finished my column.

Tuesday night, I went out to dinner with two of my best friends, Jasmine and Robo, to a sushi restaurant in Yorkville and then they came back to my place and we hung out and talked about boys and did our nails and braided each other's hair and had pillow fights until the wee hours.

That's all true, except for the doing our nails and braiding each other's hair and pillow fight part.

Wednesday, I left my house at 6 a.m. to catch a 7 a.m. flight back to Calgary.

It was a jam packed long weekend, half-business, half-fun, but all social. I was barely at home. It was anything but boring.

Hearing about my trip made The Fiance sad. Because in Calgary, aside from going out with him, and a few other couple friends, we mostly stay in.

And that's where Will and Grace comes in. Monday to Friday, at 10:30 p.m. I watch Will and Grace.

This disturbs The Fiance because he thinks I don't have fun in Calgary. This isn't entirely true. It's a different kind of fun.

In Calgary, I work hard during the day, take care of The Dictator when I get home, and I'm tired at the end of the day. I'm not saying that The Dictator is a job, because I love her more than anyone, but as any mother who has a job and then comes home to take care of a child (or children) it sometimes feels like having two jobs.

What I want to do at the end of the day in Calgary is vedge out and watch Will and Grace.

"I like Will and Grace," I told The Fiance. "What's wrong with Will and Grace?"

"It's not Will and Grace. It's the fact that all it seems you do here is watch Will and Grace," The Fiance said to me.

"But I like Will and Grace. What's wrong with Will and Grace?" I asked again.

"That's not the point, Beck," he said. "I wish you had more fun here."

"How can you not like Will and Grace?" I asked. "It's so fucking funny."

"I'm not talking about Will and Grace!" he said annoyed. "I think you should get out more here!"

"Why don't you like Will and Grace?" I asked. "Seriously. What's wrong with Will and Grace?"

I know it wasn't the point he was trying to make. But, you know, I like Will and Grace. And I don't really want to go out more.

The Fiance and I do go out. We go to restaurants all the time. We see movies all the time. What else is it that people with children do?

"I think this is what people do when they get older," I told him. "I think most people with children stay home most nights, don't they?"

"I don't know. Do they?" he asked.

"Can we talk about this later?" I asked. "Will and Grace is on."

I'm joking. I didn't say that.

But our "discussion" got me thinking. Have we become boring? I don't really find that. As I told The Fiance, I actually like hanging out with him at our house, with The Dictator, and Ruby, our nine-pound-dog-who-limps.

Sure, sometimes I do like to go out and party. But, after my four days in Toronto, I actually really appreciated the simplicity of staying in with The Fiance and doing nothing but watching Will and Grace. (I ran into gossip columnist Shinan Govani twice in my four day stay in Toronto. It was time to leave. Joking. I love that man.)

The fact is, I now like being boring. The Fiance just doesn't believe it. But it's true. Sure, maybe we have become boring, but boring can be nice, can't it? I like hanging out with him at home with The Dictator. I do. Because I don't find him boring. And, um, there's never a boring moment with The Dictator.

But tell me. Am I wrong that, once you have a family, boring becomes nice?

And, also, Will and Grace is funny, right?

PS: Thank you all so much for your Daddy Day gift ideas. There were three I loved, and I'm doing them!


Blogger Heather said...

If you call it boring, it's boring. If you enjoy it, call it something other than boring, and thats what it will be.

Will and Grace, definatly funny.

Totally using some of those fathers day ideas too....thanks ladies.

I've been away for a while (back home celebrating birthday #1). It's nice to be back reading your blog again.

3:24 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

You know what it is?? It's Calgary, I find it to be a very boring City. I'm not from here and as much as everyone talks about how great it is.... nope, it's not! Toronto rocks, I have a hell of a lot of fun there but don't want to keep up with the pace. I had a busy week once (a few years ago) and I'm STILL exahusted. It's about getting older too and enjoying the home more and the family too, plus, the kid man. That's a job in it's self. And I'm a Will and Grace 1030 pm watcher too. It's when I elliptical train and then I know it's bed time.

3:39 AM

Blogger metro mama said...

Yep, I agree. I'm boring now. Who has the energy to go out and party after a full day with baby? I'm fine with that though--when I do get out (maybe once a month) I appreciate it more and have a great time.

And it's nice having fewer hangovers.

8:12 AM

Blogger Jezer said...

You're right. He's wrong. (Heh.)

Boring is nice. Getting out is still good, too. It's all about balance, I think, and the Fiance might be having trouble understanding that those quiet "boring" evenings are necessary to your sanity.

Will & Grace? Absolutely hilarious.

9:51 AM

Blogger Haley-O said...

Boring is beautiful.... :)

12:07 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Will and Grace totally hilarious...but it can't be "all you do in Calgary" because it's only one for 1/2 hour five days a week!

When kids get up at 6 am regardless of the day...hangovers are not fun! So partying until 3 am, like the good old days, aren't possible at the moment!

12:37 PM

Anonymous Karla said...

I like boring. I live for it. He was just trying to distract you from your show ;)

2:14 PM

Anonymous Heather said...

so what you had a "discussion" hurray for the book expo!! I got so many free books. Did you meet Robert Rainford? That would have been a good father's day gift for the fiance!!

2:51 PM

Blogger Laural Dawn said...

Can we just cut straight to dinner with Margaret Atwood?
That's the coolest thing ever.
I kind of think of you as complete opposites so it would kind of neat to hear about that. Really.
And also, Will and Grace was funny till the last couple of seasons and then it got a little stupid I think.

3:02 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Will and Grace was left on the air about three seasons too long.
And hey, you're busy. Just make sure you kick as much ass as you can the rare times you do go out.

4:07 PM

Blogger Kristen said...

Seriously- if Tim tried to have that discussion with me during, say, American Idol or Nip/Tuck- I WOULD HAVE said "can we talk about this later, American Idol is on" !! LOL. Hey, I love my shows.

And we've gotten boring too, though we had a fun weekend because my mom had Leah stay over Saturday night.

5:37 PM

Blogger bubandpie said...

Embrace the boring. It's very freeing. Personally, I find it an enormous relief to get past that, "It's Friday, so I have to do something exciting whether I feel like it or not" stage.

And when your "discussions" involve the Fiance insisting he wants you to have fun - you know you've got it good.

6:07 PM

Blogger Jen said...

I feel you on the Will & Grace. A fun weekend away is just that- a fun weekend away. Not how you necessarily want to spend the evenings in your everyday life. After a long day of chasing kids, cooking and cleaning, 30 minutes of Will & Grace is just about as much fun as I can handle. ;)

9:42 PM

Blogger hautemama said...

Going out partying gets boring too - even in cosmopolitian Vancouver!

Will + Grace = funny altho King of Queens is the only sitcom that keeps me coming back!

9:45 AM

Blogger Ali said...

wait a sec, which Canadian Idol judge?????

boring or not, your life is way cooler than mine will ever be :)

and for the record. will and grace? totally funny.

12:05 PM

Anonymous mummyv said...

1. vegging with will & grace is fabu
2. so is hitting shi-shi parties and name dropping ;)
3. finding a way to do both at the same time is what i recommend!!!

12:25 PM

Blogger Mega Mom said...

I loved having my time in NYC, but yes, boring is nice now. Very fortunately, however, we have an AMAZING group of friends with kids who like to hang out, share some food and bevvies, chat and do fun things. No clubbing, but fun none-the-less.

1:25 PM

Blogger Irish Eyes said...

1) I have neither a Fiance nor a Dictator, and I am still boring sometimes. I think the moral of the story is that the Fiance wants to have fun too. *I'm picking up a little jealousy on the man-dar.

2) Will and Grace actually changed my college experience. When we bought the big book about it for our house, the back cover said "Love you. Thinking about being you for Halloween." This was about five days after my best friend and I were Jack and Karen for Halloween. Tell the Fiance to sit down and watch an episode and maybe he will understand.

2:42 PM

Blogger Goo said...

I prefer to call it a "rearrangement of priorities" :)

We all need down time, and when you work *and* take care of a wee one, there's not much energy, it seems, to party hardy.

Hah hah, even my husband isn't immune. He just came back from a Las Vegas stag. You'd think he'd be rarin' to go crazy, after months of down-home time and 9 pm bedtimes (yes, 9 pm!).

Uh uh. They partied hard for two nights and called it quits and went to bed early on the third night (in Vegas!). Three guys actaully tried to book earlier flights home. My husband said the sweetest thing: "I missed you and Goo, and would have rather been home."

Ain't that the truth. And if we were up late enough at nights, we'd probably watch Will & Grace as well.

1:18 PM

Blogger Kiki said...

Will & Grace is DEFINATELY the absolute BEST SHOW EVER!!!

1:27 PM


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