Rebecca Eckler is one of Canada's most talked about newspaper columnists, the author of Knocked Up: Confessions of a Hip Mother to Be, which has been translated into nine languages. Also the author of the bestsellers, Wiped!, Toddlers Gone Wild, and Rotten Apple, the first in a YA series. Random thoughts on life in the competitive world of modern mommyhood. Blog will be loved by trendy mothers who still feel, or often feel, that the most important word in "mommee" is ME!

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Scaring the #@)%*# out of me...

It's funny, as mothers, how we always wait for moments. Like I couldn't wait for The Dictator to start walking, for example.

Until last night, that is....

I'm not saying The Dictator is, um, slow...but she kind of is. Like it took her more than three years to realize that she could just get out of her bed anytime she wanted. There were no sidebars, no gates.

In fact, I think she's been in her Big Girl Bed now for a year and a half....

Ok, I used to watch SuperNanny. And I saw how many times parents had to put their bratty kids back into bed. There was this one show, I swear, that this kid got out of his bed 46 times before finally going to sleep.

The Dictator only recently realized she could get out of her bed. Which has turned bedtime into, well, it's turned it into an hour and a half, um, "experience."

Meaning, the teeth have been brushed, the face has been washed, the pjs have been put on, we read a few books.

Thank god, The Dictator is such a bad negotiator. At least I can say that. She's like, "I want you to read me ten books." Then I'll say, "I'll read you four books." Then she'll say, "No, I want you to read me two books." (Man, I hope she doesn't end up being a lawyer...She's just plain bad at negotiating.)

Anyway, after all that, and aftere three hundred hugs and kissess, and figuring out what animal she should sleep with, I feel like my day is done...I just want to vedge out in front of the TV.

But, as I've said, recently she's FINALLY realized that she's not in lock down. She gets out of bed and tells me, "I'm not tired." (Throw in tantrum to show that she really is overly-tired.)

But I can deal with that at her bedtime. She's not gotten out of bed more than three times. So I imagine I'm quite lucky. But then....

Last night at around 3 a.m. I felt someone staring at me. I swear to God I had no idea where I was, who I was, what was happening. I honestly thought maybe I was having a nightmare. Or getting robbed.

But, nope. It was The Dictator who told me she didn't want to sleep in her bed. Somehow, she had made it down the long hallway, in the dark, walked around to my side of the bed, and found my face - all in the pitch black.

She basically scared the crap out of me. I just pulled her up and we fell asleep. That was until The Fiance lost it, because apparently he only had two-inches of bed. He stormed out sometime around 5 a.m. and headed somewhere else to sleep.

So, basically, I guess what I'm saying is that, well, I hope this isn't the new routine. I mean, I've just managed to stop sleeping in her bed..but now she's in mine....

Happy V-Day!


Anonymous Sheril said...

This is too funny, because our 4 year old loves nothing better than to sneak into our room because shse can't sleep, and wants just a cuddle, then wants to stay.... this often happens at 4am. it is especially annoying when she thinks she wants to sleep, but she wants to discuss the day, or pet my face or something. Bedtime is usually pretty easy, there are those nights when she isn't sleepy, so we let her play in her bed - that seems to work - she gets some play time, (10 minutes or so) and the deal is, she has to stay in her bed! but the 4 am wake ups are so annoying! But on the bright side, I think it's better to have her come to me versus yelling at the top of her lungs for me to come to her at 4am. right?

1:42 PM

Blogger Amanda said...

That's too cute of a story. Love the non-negotiating, hilarious!
I am dreading the day the bunny sleeps in a bed and can come scare me in the night, I scare easily :)

4:50 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

My little girl who is 3 yrs and 4 months gets out of bed and manages to always come and find me on my side of the bed. We usually let her stay if it's almost morning. We send her to pee and she hops in. If it's still the middle of the night we tell her she has to go back to bed until it's light out. The first time I said that to her I expected that I would have to get up and take her to her room. To my amazement she just turned around, went to her room, slamed her door and went back to bed. i could't believe it! My husband and I started laughing at 3 am.

5:16 PM

Blogger Gabriella said...

that's funny about the feeling of being stared at. I can see Samantha doing that at night eventually because she already does it to me during the day, like I'll be reading her a story and I can feel these eyes on me and so i look up and there she is instead of looking at the book she's focused directly at my face. It kills me!

6:23 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I know people are supposed to cut bloggers some slack over spelling, but I feel compelled to point out that it is "veg" not "vedge" -- the word being short for "vegetate."

6:52 PM

Blogger Jovi said...

I used to do that too (even the staring at Mom thing) until I was about 8 or 9. Then I was big enough to drag a mattress into my parents room in the middle of the night.

4:58 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Rebecca, A random question - but are you planning on having anymore kids?

9:07 AM

Blogger Sandra said...

Oh how I've been there.

Oh how I am still there. And mine is 5 1/2.

That wasn't terribly helpful or supportive was it? But I assure you it gets less scary :)

12:47 PM

Blogger garth said...

The finding you in the dark thing isn't that weird. Children have levels of sensory acuity that you have long since forgotten you lost.

I've lost most of mine, too, but I'm nearly fifty, and I can still see fairly well in the dark. It isn't just the province of cats. How do you suppose they can see the monsters in the closet in the middle of the night? Oh, and they're not monsters. Just hanging clothes that look like monsters in the dark, which is why they disappear when you turn the lights on. Trust me on that - I was seeing them well into my 30s.

11:11 PM


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