Three Page Report Card for my Three Year Old

So, yesterday, The Dictator came home from, um, nursery school with her report card. A report card! A "first semester" report card. Who even knew there were semesters in nursery school?

I have mixed feelings about giving out report cards for three year olds. I mean, she just turned three! If I gave her the report card she would have taken her crayons and scribbled all over it. Which I kind of had the urge to do.

The report card was three pages long and let me check....yes, with 50, that's right 5-0 categories she was marked on.

The Dictator cannot even pronounce words like "Language and Emerging Literacy Skills" or "Self-Emotional Development," but apparantly she is sort of being grading on it.

And here I was, thinking that all she did, five mornings a week, for three hours, was colour pictures, sing songs, have story time and play in the playground.

Each category, which were titled everything from, "Shows pride in Jewish Heritage and background," "Understands and respects differences," and "Communicates to resolve conflicts," to "Makes increasingly representational drawings," "runs with control over direction and speed" and "Participates in group discussions," was marked with the words, "Not Yet," "Sometimes" "Frequently" and "Constantly.

Ok, we're talking about a three year old!

Isn't it normal to communicate to resolve conflicts by, um, crying, instead of saying, "I like you, dear, classmate, but it really makes me feel like you don't like me very much when you hit me in the arm. In the future, why don't we just talk it out and communicate our feelings."

As for her making "increasingly representational drawings", again, she's three. Not Jack Bush. She basically scribbles on a piece of paper, and I can tell you that those scribbles are friggen amazing, even though, according to her teacher, she only does this "frequently."

I guess "frequently" is a compliment.

As for showing pride in Jewish History, well, we are paying for her to go to the Calgary Jewish Academy.

My daughter is very shy in class, according to her teacher. I already know this, because I have spied on her from outside the classroom door. I do not think this is a problem. I think, frankly, that some kids are just shy.

My mother, who was a teacher, but more importantly raised four children, told me that generally speaking how kids act in nuersery school is how they'll act throughout their entire school existence.

According to the Dictator's teacher, my child likes to observe other kids first.

I was a type-A student, who if I got less than 85% on anything would consider it a failure. But that's just me. I will tell you that no matter how shy my Dictator is, I don't care. If she just wants to observe first, that's fine by me.

Here's what I want for my child inside the classroom. I just want her to be happy, that's it. And safe. Safe and Happy. There should be only one box on a three year olds report card and that is, "Having fun?"

But I will admit to you that I kind of want to take a peek at another kids' report card, to see what the teacher said about them and how they were marked.

Yesterday, after reading her report card, I bent down and gave The Dictator a huge hug and said she is a super star who got all gold stars. She asked me for ice cream and then showed me a piece of paper which she had put one green dot on and told me that was her frog.

I figure, you know, when she's in grade 10 or something, I might start to care about report cards. As for now, I'll let her scribble all over it - and then, as requested, I'll sign it and give it back to the school.