Solve This Mystery...

Someone, in Toronto, is going around telling people they are my "assistant."

I feel totally violated, and most of all, want to say to this person who is going around telling people they are my "assistant" that they are doing a totally sucky job!

I had to get my own coffeee this morning! I had to set up my own manicure appointment yesterday! I had to buy my own Halloween candy! I had to book my own airline ticket for tomorrow!

Let me explain...

Yesterday, I was opening my mail at home and there was a letter forwarded to me from The Globe and Mail. It was adressed to: The Assistant of Rebecca Eckler, with that person's name, and it was marked "private and confidential."

I laughed, because, in reality, I don't have an assistant.

I need an assistant, don't get me wrong.

I have 250 unread e-mails, almost 1000 that need to be returned, a photo shoot happening at my house right now - My home will be featured in Canadian House and Home magazine in the Spring - dry cleaning that hasn't been picked up in months, snack day at my daughter's school tomorrow, and I'm supposed to get on a plane tomorrow at 7 a.m.

Not to mention newspaper deadlines, a book in its final editing stages, another book deadline looming, and a couple freelance magazine stories that I need to interview for and write, and a number of requests for people to interview me about various things.

Seriously, I feel as if my life is falling apart, I have so much to do, and my organizational skills, at best, suck.

Anyway, I opened the letter addressed to "Rebecca Eckler's assistant," even though it really wasn't for me. There was another name there, but since I am my own assistant, I didn't feel too badly, even though it was marked "private and confidential." Hey, I am my own assistant and you addressed it to Rebecca Eckler's assistant.

It was a handwritten love/apology letter.

Aparently, my "assistant" had taken someone out and that person (the person writing the letter) got drunk and acted like a "retarded brat."

And then my "assistant" called the letter-writer, but the letter-writer's cell phone died and they couldn't call back because they were at a friend's house. Then the letter-writer tried to call my assistant, but the person's sister hung up on them. Twice.

Anyway, the letter-writer to my "assistant" apologizes profusely and doesn't want to let a dead cell phone or alcohol affect what could possibly be a future relationship. Apparently, my "assistant" did something very nice for this person, that no other person had done before.

This all, apparently, happened around Thanksgiving weekend, when I was in Arizona.

To which I'll say, if you were on a date around that time in Toronto, and the person treated you poorly, well, that person is sorry and is trying to get in touch with you - even if they are apologizing to someone who is going around lying about what they do for a living.

Now that I'm done trying to pass this information on, and getting a love-match going, I'd like to also say, that if you ever meet someone who is telling people they are "Rebecca Eckler's assistant," don't believe them. Or tell them to get to work.

I like non-fat decaf lattes.