Is there an Ideal Man...anywhere?
This is for the ninepounddictator.blogspot.com reader who wrote me a personal e-mail asking me about my thoughts on the ideal man, versus the thought that an ideal man does not exist.
With the recent wave of celebrity divorces - Reese Witherspoon and Britney Spears - and this e-mail from the reader who asked me my thoughts on the notion that perhaps an ideal man does not exist, I have been thinkinga a lot about relationships.
I don't actually believe an ideal man does exist. I know, this sounds bad. But does the ideal woman exist either?
I do have a number of single friends, in their 30s, who are still looking for that ideal man. Here's my problem with the people who hold out for that "ideal" man, or who don't believe an "ideal" man exists.
I love my friends. But, truthfully, out of all my single friends, there are only a couple who I'd like to be my wife, if I played that way. If you know what I mean. There are only a couple who I could actually live with day-to-day, without wanting to throw myself out the window.
Do I have an ideal man? Well, he is ideal for me. Together, we work.
Meaning, I am SO not an ideal woman. I am very selfish, I am very self-obsessed, I am extremely moody, and I probably suffer from never-ending depression. I am also very hard on myself and always feel that I'm always failing at my career, as a mother, and a wife. I don't know how to cook. I hate all chores. I leave my wet towels on the floor.
But my man, well, he puts up with it. In fact, he helps me through it all. Often I wonder if I were in his shoes, would I put up with me?
I am ideal for him because I keep him entertained and he likes to take care of me and if anyone ever says a bad word about him, well, I'd beat them up.
He is ideal for me because he's the only man I feel I can tell anything to and he won't judge me. He is my best friend. And if I'm going to be with someone for decades, it should be my best friend.
But he too isn't perfect. I hate that he is always on his blackberry, for example. It drives me fucking crazy. But, as I said before, I'm so far from perfect. So I don't say anything when we are at the movies and he's busy checking his messages. After all, I leave my wet towels on the floor.
So, yes, the ideal man sort of does exist - and that ideal man is the one who can put up with, and love to be with, us women who are so not ideal ourselves.
Once us women can admit we are not ideal ourselves, well, I think it will make finding an ideal man a heck of a lot easier.