Rebecca Eckler is one of Canada's most talked about newspaper columnists, the author of Knocked Up: Confessions of a Hip Mother to Be, which has been translated into nine languages. Also the author of the bestsellers, Wiped!, Toddlers Gone Wild, and Rotten Apple, the first in a YA series. Random thoughts on life in the competitive world of modern mommyhood. Blog will be loved by trendy mothers who still feel, or often feel, that the most important word in "mommee" is ME!

Thursday, December 07, 2006

I Blame Britney...

Everyone and their dog has probably seen the crotch shot of Britney Spears. And everyone is talking about it.

Just this morning, in fact, I was e-mailing with a friend I'm going to meet for drinks next week. I have a party to go to after we meet, as does he (it's that time of year....)

I told him not to worry. I'll just jump in a cab and go from there. He wrote back, "Remember, if you're hopping in and out of cabs all night, wear underwear."

Now, I could go on about how fame totally screws people up, and makes them think that to remain famous they have to go underwear-less and get that crotch shot that went around the world.

But, no. This is about how when I saw the crotch shot of Britney, I immediately was reminded that I needed a bikini wax. I swear, that was my first thought.

Because it's that time of year, most places are booked solid. But I walked by a new spa place the other day. Because they are new, they had openings. I made my appointments.

I was quite enjoying talking to the 26 year-old owner of this new funky spa, while she did my manicure. She was gorgeous and fun and really into fashion. She told me all about her ex boyfriend and the sordid details of their relationship. It was all good.

Until she said, "I have someone else booked to do your waxing." Let's call the waxing girl "Donna." That's not her name, but let's call her that.

Donna walked into the room and the owner said, "Donna, I have booked you to do some waxing."

Donna was very excited and clapped her hands. I knew immediately that she was new. No one gets that excited over waxing someone, unless they rarely have done it. Donna walked out of the room to prepare the waxing room.

I asked the owner if Donna had ever done waxing before. The owner said, "She's new but she's taken all her courses."

I admit, I was worried. I mean, it's one thing to have the Barista at Starbucks be new on the job. Yes, it's annoying to have to wait longer to get your latte, but it's something you deal with. But having someone give you a bikini wax who is new?

I found out it's not a good thing to have a new person do your bikini wax. Let's just say, help was called in. Yes, that's right. Donna had to call in for reinforcement, after the wax got stuck in an area that wax should not be stuck.

I'm pretty good about being naked in front of other woman (That's what years of overnight camp teaches you.) However, my face blushed flaming red as TWO people took scissors to an area where no scissors should be near. EVER.

Don't worry. I was too mortified and scared to even complain. I just smiled a lot and said, "Don't worry. It's just wax. It'll be fine." Donna looked even more embarassed, I'll say that.

Plus, one never wants to make a fuss when someone has a pair of scissors down there. That's for certain.

Will I go back? The scary thing is, probably. But I won't be asking for Donna. I mean, I know she has to practice, but I was already her guinee pig. I'm more than willing to deal with cashiers new on the job, or servers new on the job. But when it comes to my crotch? Nope.

But I don't blame Donna. I blame Britney.

19 Comments:

Blogger Laural Dawn said...

Oh no! That's horrible.
I just went somewhere new too. Why are all these places over booked for bikini waxes.
But it was fine. It was, in fact, the least painful ever. So that was good.

10:59 AM

 
Anonymous ali said...

i woman named argentina does my brazilians (yes, yes, it's funny, i know...) she's amazing. i totally trust her. one day, i had newgirl. it was TERRIBLE. argie knows me. knows what i like. knows i don't like to look like an 8-year-old girl. when i saw britney's crotch all exposed and such, all i could think was, "oh, she must have gone to newgirl"

11:23 AM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Poor Britney...maybe she did it in order to join the BFF with Paris club?

Once I find someone I like I tend to stick with them! Although I'm also not phased by being naked in front of other women, some are just more professional than others. Friendly suggestion: I find it helpful to book my next appointment right after an appointment when I'm paying. Helps during this really busy time!

11:47 AM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I hope they didn't charge you for the bikini wax (or the manicure for that matter).

12:36 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have to admit, I've never had a bikini wax because I'm just too squeamish about being that naked in front of a complete stranger (other than my doctor). But lately I've been thinking that since I'm about to have a baby and have numerous people see that part of me, maybe I would try it. But this clinches it. NO WAY is anyone coming near that part of me with hot wax. EVER.

1:23 PM

 
Anonymous Girlygurl said...

Too funny. You crack me up.

1:33 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm curious about what a bikini wax actually is. Will someone enlighten me? Will the average salon remove it all,if that's what you want?

2:42 PM

 
Blogger little miss sunshine said...

sugaring ladies sugaring... i HIGHLY urge you to find someone who does this. there is a place in Toronto called Sugar Sugar! Seriously. Go. No more wax!

6:43 PM

 
Blogger hautemama said...

Too funny...i was just talking about Brazilian waxes today and how embaressing they are.

I think the most humilating part is when you have to get on all fours............

And Britney Spears is white trash, like who cares about her???

8:06 PM

 
Blogger MommyWithAttitude said...

That's hilarious! Yes, experience and bravado are the keys to a good bikini waxer!

Sadly, since becoming pregnant the first time I think I have been in perpetual need of a bikini wax.

10:14 AM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I just can't fathom that Britney did that on purpose (again and again, I know!). I keep trying to hope for the best for that girl - she had the world at her feet - and now, at her pantyless crotch! Terrible!!!! WHERE are her PEOPLE?

12:35 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Do you check your own blog as often as the rest of us check it?

10:35 AM

 
Blogger mad muthas said...

we need to know - can you get your knickers off or are they stuck on?

2:12 PM

 
Blogger Jennifer P said...

At 38 weeks pregnant I can't reach any body part to shave and waxing (new girl or not, I wouldn't know the difference) seems awfully tempting.
I think I'm the only person in the world who hasn't seen Britney's hoo-hoo.

7:08 PM

 
Blogger Sara Bingham said...

Oh, Rebecca - I'm sorry but this made me giggle, giggle, giggle! S.

7:11 AM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Blame away- ugh. That girl is lost. And I have to know- I am too chicken to get professionally waxed since my bald spot at home boyfriend waxing incident- is it horrible (when they don't have to bring in the scissors?)

10:00 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Any holiday gift ideas

1:15 AM

 
Blogger Pendullum said...

Ohhh....

MYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!

Hopefully your gal Donna was not singing'Oops I did it again!'

6:38 AM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

WHY would anyone want to look like a 6 yr old girl by getting a Brazilian? And don't say, 'hygiene'. Scary.

9:55 AM

 

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