Rebecca Eckler is one of Canada's most talked about newspaper columnists, the author of Knocked Up: Confessions of a Hip Mother to Be, which has been translated into nine languages. Also the author of the bestsellers, Wiped!, Toddlers Gone Wild, and Rotten Apple, the first in a YA series. Random thoughts on life in the competitive world of modern mommyhood. Blog will be loved by trendy mothers who still feel, or often feel, that the most important word in "mommee" is ME!

Friday, February 09, 2007

Tears and Tissue

I'm not sure what's wrong with me.

After I had The Dictator, I've become a super emotional person. I swear, I NEVER used to cry. Not at movies, not at those long distance phone calls, not even when a boy said something that hurt my feelings.

But once that kid came out of me, well, it was water works all the time. A lot of it had to do with Post Partum after her birth, which, thankfully, I got through.

But, she's now three years old and things that NEVER would have made me cry, now make me cry. Or at the very least tear up.

Take for example American Idol. I swear, it's like an emotional rollercoaster for me. When the contestants are thrilled, I almost cry. When they are so disappointed, I also tear up. I mean, for godssake, it's American Idol. (I also get sad thinking about how many millions of people actually believe they have talent...But that's a whole other issue.)

When I read certain books, I now tear up. Movies too. Oh, and weddings. I seriously teared up at my cousins wedding recently. What the fuck is going on?

There are certain things, of course, that come with age. Like, when I turned 30 I actually had to start working out to get those love handles to go away. Which bites.

And now, my period has also gotten worse. I wonder if this has to do with age, or because I had a baby. Last period, I could barely walk I was in so much pain. And, um, talking about emotions, well, let's just say I was a disaster. You so did NOT want to be around me about two weeks ago.

Ok, every woman hates it when a guy says to them, "Are you on your period?" when you lose it on them.

Well, last time, I was complaining and bitching and crying about something and The Fiance said, "Is this because you're getting your period?"

To which I started to lose it even more and started to yell, "NO! THIS IS NOT BECAUSE I'M FUCKING GETTING MY....ok, maybe it is."

I know I've always been the type of person to wear my heart on my sleeve. I think I've always been the one to say "I love you," first. But the tears? Man, oh, man. There are so many commericals that make me tear up too. THEY ARE COMMERCIALS!!

I just got back from a three day trip from Toronto. I snuck into my daughter's room at 1 a.m. and kissed her on the cheek.

"Mommy!" she screamed and gave me the biggest hug ever. EVER. EVER! I cried. I did. Even thinking about it now is making me tear up.

So, if I'm this emotional now (And, no, I'm not on my period, or getting it any time soon) what the hell am I going to be like when I'm 50?

I don't know. But can you please pass me a tissue?


Blogger Allison said...

I know what you mean! In fact, I almost cried during American Idol this week when Lakisha was hugging her 3 year old daughter. Awww... I wonder if it will always be this way or if I'll go back to my former cynical self.

4:52 AM

Blogger Not Jenny said...

Sorry, Rebecca, I can't spare any tissues to share. I need all that I can get. I usually cry at movies, but now that I am pregnant again I cry at EVERYTHING. I can't watch the news anymore in case there is a story about children on. I can't get through an episode of Grey's Anatomy. Sometimes I just get weepy at random, for no particular reason at all.

My period doesn't make me weepy--I get angry. Very angry. Of course, I don't have to worry about that now. I will be crying until the leaves turn colour and fall off the trees.

4:53 PM

Anonymous ali said...

i'm a riduculous crier too...since i had kids. and i cry at american idol. the husband laughs his ass off at me...
and seriously...i take issue with the term "on your period"...what does that even mean and why can't men say "do you have your period" why is it always "on"??!!

11:01 AM

Blogger Amanda said...

Oh, I am so with you on this one, girlfriend! I have become a much more "outwardly" emotional person too and the periods, I thought I was back in high school again! It's the hormones, at least that's what I keep convincing myself!

4:39 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

another post please

12:10 AM

Blogger Heather said...

Are you sure you aren't pregnant?

6:24 PM

Anonymous wendy boucher said...

Don't cry now, I'm just stopping by to wish you a Happy Valentine's Day. By the way, I totally get it about the emotional thing. Preaching to the choir, Baby.

6:33 AM

Blogger Pendullum said...

I think we appreciate 'moments' more as we grow older...

Sorry about the tears though...

7:36 AM

Blogger Her Bad Mother said...

Um, yes. And, yes. I am six gazillion times more emotional, and six septrillion times more blech with my period. So at this rate, shouldn't we be PRAYING for menopause?

11:27 AM

Blogger Loverbutt said...

What heather said.

6:47 AM

Blogger QueenieCarly said...

Maybe it is motherhood, but I gotta say, I think it might just be experience and exposure. I've never had kids, but I have the same symptoms. I think the world just gets to all of us, it wears you down.

1:48 AM

Blogger Heather said...

I was a big crying weenie BEFORE I had kids...I am a kajillion times worse now. The theme song for Miss Spider's Sunny Patch makes me cry all the time! Oh and period hell here too. I have already been praying for menopause.

7:34 AM


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