Rebecca Eckler is one of Canada's most talked about newspaper columnists, the author of Knocked Up: Confessions of a Hip Mother to Be, which has been translated into nine languages. Also the author of the bestsellers, Wiped!, Toddlers Gone Wild, and Rotten Apple, the first in a YA series. Random thoughts on life in the competitive world of modern mommyhood. Blog will be loved by trendy mothers who still feel, or often feel, that the most important word in "mommee" is ME!

Thursday, June 25, 2009

I bought mine!

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Monday, May 18, 2009

Massages Round the Clock!

My five year-old had her very first professional massage over Winter Break.

I just could not believe the hotel we were staying at had their very own Spa Menu for kids.

Anyway, I made her an appointment for the princess massage, which was a massage on the beach, using a Strawberry-scented oil. At the end of the massage, she would be covered in Princess Sprinkles.

I mean, my daughter totally needed a massage. All that coloring at school! All those play dates! All that swimming! I mean, she was STRESSED OUT! I kid. I kid.

I took about a million photos of her getting her very first massage, because it was too darn cute. They actually performed a real massage on her, the same techniques they do on an adult. She even had that donut hole head thing to put her face in.

My daughter LOVED every second of her massage! I knew she loved it, because she actually fell asleep half way through - which means she was as relaxed as can be.

In any case, over the months, we have played Spa at home. Now, this is a great game for single, stressed out mothers.

I get some nice smelling lotion, and we pretend her bedroom is Spa Suite Number One (My room is Spa Suite Number Two, and my yoga room, is Spa Suite Number Three.)

She likes getting a massage in Spa Suite Number one. She plops on the her bed, stomach flat, and I rub some grapefruit-smelling lotion on her back, on her legs, on her feet, her hands, her upper arms, for about half an hour or so.

Now, most people would say it's always so much better to be the receiver of a massage than the one doing it. But when's it's your own child you give a massage to, it's fun. My daughter lies perfectly still, whispering to me, "That feels really good mommy!" and even sometimes sighs (Just like us adults at spas getting massages!)

Anyway, the best part of PLAYING SPA, is that my daughter can now give a wicked massage too. She spreads the grapefruit scented lotion on my back, using just enough pressure, and I tell you, she's great!

The point is, if you think you're daughter may be ready for her first massage. Let her get it. Because, I'm telling you, every night now, she offers to give me a massage. And whoever turns down a massage - even from a five year old?

This raising a child thing sure has it's benefits. Who knew one of them would be a massage whenever I wanted (and one I don't have to pay for!) Do your children do anything special for you like that? Share

Also, for a more regular update on my life, check out Go to the "Fun" section and go to the blogs, where you'll see mine and a number of other sweet blogs.


Ok, going upstairs. Got to get my nightly massage, before my daughter falls asleep.


Sunday, March 15, 2009

No Nicknames PLEASE!

Sometimes - okay, a lot of the time - it's the small things in life that make me annoyed.

Recently, I've become very annoyed that people have come up with a nickname for my daughter.

Her name, as most of you know, is Rowan.

It's a very simple name, one that I had no idea that someone could find a nickname for. I mean, it's only two syllables!

Yet, some people have actually shortened her name and now call her "Ro." Or even worse, "Ro-Ro."


It started at her school, with her teachers. I adore her teachers. They are amazing.

The one and only problem is that they've started calling her "Ro" and "Ro-Ro."

Again, YUCK! (Honestly, I've tried very hard to think this nickname is cute. But it ain't working!)

So now other parents call her "Ro," and so do some of her friends.

I'm not sure what to do about this. Frankly, I rather talk to her teachers about her progression in reading and writing.

I'd feel like a complete moron for saying to her teachers, "Um, can I have a word? Can you please stop calling my daughter Ro. Her name is Rowan."

Parent-teacher interviews are coming up. I know my daughter isn't having any issues at school, and I have no issues either with the teachers or the school... except for her teachers calling her "Ro."

I just can't imagine going to the parent-teacher interview and the teachers asking, "So do you have any concerns?" And my answer being, "Actually, I do. I really hate that you call her Ro. Can you please stop?"

On the one hand, maybe I'm right to be annoyed. I mean, I named her. Shouldn't she be called the name that I named her? Also, shouldn't I nip this in the bud, sooner rather than later?

Or maybe I'm overreacting? I'm probably overreacting, but, hey, I'm a woman. I'm prone to overreacting.

Any suggestions?

And, also, just a reminder, that if you want to keep up on a more regular basis with my life, please check out Just go under the "fun" section, check out the blogs, and you'll see mine - along with other fantastic blogs - updated weekly.

You can also now post comments there!

But if you have any suggestions, or have been through someone making up a nickname for your child that you hate, please tell me what you did. I love to hear from you!

Rebecca (or Becky!)

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Another Miracle!

It's difficult to explain to people how the book publishing world works.

A LOT of my parent's friends, for some reason, are very interested in how I get paid.

They always seem to think that I get paid "royalties" for each book sold. (Which is ironic because a lot of them go to the library to pick up one of my books for free....anyway...)

The first miracle that happened this week you can read in the previous post (I'm still in shock!)

The SECOND miracle that happened was that I actually received, out of the blue, a fairly nice size cheque yesterday in the mail.

It was a....ROYALTY cheque.

The cheque was from my first book, Knocked Up. I actually earned out my advance, and then some, from my US publishers.

Let me explain. Publishers pay you an advance to write the book. The larger the amount they pay you in advance, the harder it becomes to "earn" back your advance.

Meaning - and I'm just throwing out a number here - if they pay you a $30,000 advance, enough people will have to buy your book to give back the publishers the $30,000 they paid out in your advance. I can't do math, so I have no idea how many books would have to be bought to make up what my advance was.

But, only after that, do you get royalties.

Knocked Up was published in 2004 in the States, so it's taken four years for me to earn back my advance, and now get royalties. This, in itself, is a miracle.

But totally fun too. I mean, how often does a cheque just show up in your mail box? (I'd like to say as often as your child goes to bed on their own....see previous post!)

The good news is that people are always getting pregnant, and, of course, being the author of Knocked Up, I think everyone who finds themselves with a bun in the oven, or who has a friend with a bun in the oven, should buy Knocked Up....And then the follow up, Wiped! Life with a Pint-Size Dictator, and then, the follow-up follow-up Toddlers Gone Wild.

And even Rotten Apple, if you have a pre-teen in your house.

After all, maybe in another four years I'll get another surprise in the mail!

But, mostly, this post is a BIG thank you to all those who bought Knocked Up, Wiped, Toddlers Gone Wild, and Rotten Apple.

Thank You! Thank You! Thank You! Thank You!


PS. Go to to look for more of my blog posts!

Monday, February 09, 2009

It's a Miracle!!

Not that I've blogged.

But my daughter just asked if she could go to sleep. Yes, she actually asked if she could go to sleep. What is up with that? She hugged me goodnight, turned off the lights, and went to sleep.....all on her own!

It took five years, four months and eight days for this to happen....not that I'm counting. But I feel like doing a cartwheel!

I'm going to enjoy this miracle moment...I'm sure you'll understand.

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Thursday, November 27, 2008

Ahem....Excuse me....

For the long, um, vacation from blogging.

So where the hell have I been for the last, um, few MONTHS?????

Well, I had my first YA novel, Rotten Apple, released in October. And I had another book deadline that I just finished. It's an adult fiction that I sent in with the title, "Clover and the Lucky Sperm Club." I hope they keep the title, but, hey, you never know.

Right now, my brain is as dead as my fingers are hurting.

(Honestly, would it be weird if I booked an hour massage at a spa and just asked if they could massage my hands? That's how much they hurt right now....)

So, basically, I've been doing nothing but working. In my recent round of press for Rotten Apple, I had a lot of reporters ask me how I am so prolific. The sad truth is that when I'm working, I shut off my e-mail, and don't answer my phone. I sit at my computer from the minute my daughter is at school, to the minute I go pick her up.

I don't get out of my pajamas, and sometimes I go days without showering. I know. Attractive isn't it? I become a bad friend too when I'm in work mode. My mind is only half in the real world when I get into fiction writing. I fall asleep thinking about my characters.

When I'm not working, I'm spending time with my daughter, who is, by far, my favorite person in the world. Every day, I love her more and more. One day, I think my heart will explode with love for her.

I also want to let you know that I'm now going to be a regular blogger at

If you don't know about this site, you should definitely check it out.

I'll be writing about Single Motherhood every Thursday. As a single mother now, I really thought about whether I should do it or not. The truth is, I'm not thrilled to be a single mother. It's far from ideal. It's not how I pictured my life ending up.

However, the more I thought about it, the more I thought that I should share the good and the bad about being a single mother - As mommy bloggers know, other mommy bloggers just make you feel better when you know that other people are out there who understand what they're going through and that you're not alone.

Truthfully, I'm not happy about being a single mother, but it's my reality, as it is for so many others out there. In fact, I've had a very hard year. I hope, at the very least, that by blogging about being a single mother, that I may, in some ways, make others feel they are not alone.

There are also other great bloggers over at, including a blog by founder of, Joanna Track, who is writing about being a step-mommy.

I miss all of you mommies, I really, truly do. I'm going to try and be a better blogger here at ninepounddictator as well.

In the meanwhile, I'm going to look into hand massages.


Friday, September 12, 2008

Cover Girl...

I'm a cover girl.

My darling daughter, Rowan, and I are on the cover of Parents Canada magazine. You can buy this magazine at Chapters/Indigo. There's also a spread on the inside of us.

I've never been the type of mother to read parenting magazines. I'm not sure why. But this magazine is actually very good, and I'm not just saying that because I'm on the cover, I swear. I read the thing from cover to cover and actually learned quite a bit. (Also, the people working behind the scenes - the photographers, the makeup artist, the editor - were all super nice, which I think people should know.)

I just feel a little strange being on the cover, and not because the headline is "love her or hate her?" but because now whenever I say something to Rowan's Daddy or friends about some aspect I'm wondering about parenting, they'll respond, "You're on the cover of a parenting magazine!"

Which, apparently, means I should know how exactly to get rid of pink eye. Friggen never ending pink eye in my home. I've been to the doctor three times trying to get rid of my pink eye - and it keeps coming back. I'm at the point where I just wish I could rip my eyes out of their sockets.

There is only one thing worse than pink eye, which is being allergic to the drops they give you to get rid of pink eye, which happened to me. Oh, the pain!

But now I have to go to Montreal on Monday for a speech Monday evening at the Jewish Public Library (This September 15th - Please, if you're in the Montreal area, do come, do come, do come!) And I can't very well wear sunglasses at 7:30 in the evening. But it might happen. (I promise I won't touch you!)

Truly, I'm not a diva. I just don't want to infect you. Plus, my eye is so fugly right now.

So, yes, I may be on the cover of a parenting magazine, but if anyone has any home remedies for pink eye, please do tell. Or else, this gal will be at the walk-in clinic - again - this weekend.

Also, my teen book, Rotten Apple, is coming out next month. If you have any pre-teen daughters who love to read, and write for their school newspapers/blogs - do schools have newspapers? - please don't hesitate to e-mail me at and I'll do my very best to get them review copies....

I'm going to be a better blogger! I swear! I just have to go see if the red is still in my eye. Of course it is....