Blog, Brag, Gush, Barf

Like the urge to protect your child which is inherent, there's also an inherent urge as a mother to brag.

Bragging about your child is a tricky business.

When you brag about your child to another mother, you get into that competitive-parenting realm.

And, yes, even when my mommy friends brag about their children, one of my instincts is to start bragging about The Dictator.

I mean, hey, you're telling me your child is in twelve classes and can swim under water at age 4 months, so I'm going to tell you that The Dictator could sing Coldplay songs by the time she was two (Ok, this is a blatant lie.)

But if you brag too much about your child to other mothers, you do get judged as being a competitive parent.

And I don't want to be that kind of mother. Barf.

And, then, when you brag about your child to one of your single, non-mother friends, you can't help but wonder, "Do they care? Am I boring them? How much is too much information to share about your child? Should I stop?"

Because you don't want to be the kind of mother who bores your friends with constant child brag. You brag too much to your single friends and you get judged as being a boring mother who cares about nothing else but your offspring. Barf.

And, then, if you brag to mothers who have older children than yours, you just can't help but wonder if they think that you think that you're the first person in the world to have had a child. Which, of course, you kind of do.

You can't win. Ever.

So here's what I would love you to do. In fact, I'm begging you. Please brag to me about your child(ren.) Yes, that's right. I'm asking you to go all out and gush and brag and gush some more.

And, guess what? I will not judge. I will not think that you are bragging about how you think your child is a genius, nor will I judge you for only talking about your child. I will not think you are competing with me, nor will you bore me. I won't barf. I promise.

Blog Brag to your heart's content. Because...

Well, I'm about too.

That's right. I'm in the mood to gush and brag about The Dictator and what better way than to blog brag. (It's my blog and I can brag if I want to, brag if I want to, brag if I want to...)

First, The Dictator is the most adorable little girl in the entire world. I love her so much that it hurts. In fact, I love her more and more every day and each and every day she gets cuter and cuter. I lover her bum, I love her arms, I love her eyes. I love her cheeks. I love every inch of her.

Have I told you how smart she is? She gets things, my child. She does. I only have to explain things to her once. And she gets it.

And did I mention how creative and imaginative she is?

I swear, the kid makes up stories that are so brilliant. Just yesterday, she made up a story about a cat named Carlos and a horse named Midnight, who climbed up a tree. And The Dictator pulled a pretend ladder from her pocket to rescue them.

And she's funny. I mean, she loves to make jokes that crack me up.

And she's independent. She keeps telling me how much she wants to go to school. So I just know she's going to be smart, on top of being the cutest girl in the world, too.

I love her, love her, love her, love her.

Wow...That felt so good.

Now that you've probably barfed (and I don't care!) it's your turn. Brag away.

No judgment.