Rebecca Eckler is one of Canada's most talked about newspaper columnists, the author of Knocked Up: Confessions of a Hip Mother to Be, which has been translated into nine languages. Also the author of the bestsellers, Wiped!, Toddlers Gone Wild, and Rotten Apple, the first in a YA series. Random thoughts on life in the competitive world of modern mommyhood. Blog will be loved by trendy mothers who still feel, or often feel, that the most important word in "mommee" is ME!

Friday, July 07, 2006

Blog, Brag, Gush, Barf

Like the urge to protect your child which is inherent, there's also an inherent urge as a mother to brag.

Bragging about your child is a tricky business.

When you brag about your child to another mother, you get into that competitive-parenting realm.

And, yes, even when my mommy friends brag about their children, one of my instincts is to start bragging about The Dictator.

I mean, hey, you're telling me your child is in twelve classes and can swim under water at age 4 months, so I'm going to tell you that The Dictator could sing Coldplay songs by the time she was two (Ok, this is a blatant lie.)

But if you brag too much about your child to other mothers, you do get judged as being a competitive parent.

And I don't want to be that kind of mother. Barf.

And, then, when you brag about your child to one of your single, non-mother friends, you can't help but wonder, "Do they care? Am I boring them? How much is too much information to share about your child? Should I stop?"

Because you don't want to be the kind of mother who bores your friends with constant child brag. You brag too much to your single friends and you get judged as being a boring mother who cares about nothing else but your offspring. Barf.

And, then, if you brag to mothers who have older children than yours, you just can't help but wonder if they think that you think that you're the first person in the world to have had a child. Which, of course, you kind of do.

You can't win. Ever.

So here's what I would love you to do. In fact, I'm begging you. Please brag to me about your child(ren.) Yes, that's right. I'm asking you to go all out and gush and brag and gush some more.

And, guess what? I will not judge. I will not think that you are bragging about how you think your child is a genius, nor will I judge you for only talking about your child. I will not think you are competing with me, nor will you bore me. I won't barf. I promise.

Blog Brag to your heart's content. Because...

Well, I'm about too.

That's right. I'm in the mood to gush and brag about The Dictator and what better way than to blog brag. (It's my blog and I can brag if I want to, brag if I want to, brag if I want to...)

First, The Dictator is the most adorable little girl in the entire world. I love her so much that it hurts. In fact, I love her more and more every day and each and every day she gets cuter and cuter. I lover her bum, I love her arms, I love her eyes. I love her cheeks. I love every inch of her.

Have I told you how smart she is? She gets things, my child. She does. I only have to explain things to her once. And she gets it.

And did I mention how creative and imaginative she is?

I swear, the kid makes up stories that are so brilliant. Just yesterday, she made up a story about a cat named Carlos and a horse named Midnight, who climbed up a tree. And The Dictator pulled a pretend ladder from her pocket to rescue them.

And she's funny. I mean, she loves to make jokes that crack me up.

And she's independent. She keeps telling me how much she wants to go to school. So I just know she's going to be smart, on top of being the cutest girl in the world, too.

I love her, love her, love her, love her.

Wow...That felt so good.

Now that you've probably barfed (and I don't care!) it's your turn. Brag away.

No judgment.


Anonymous NeoTechie said...

Blogging is a beautiful form of expression.

It is amazing how fast they grow up.They are much
smarter than us when we were their age.You did a
good job raising her that is why she is so smart.
She will only get smarter. They love we give them
helps their cognitive development. The more we love
them, the smarter they will be.

A child can ask questions that a wise man cannot answer.
~Author Unknown

I found an interesting article, and I would like to share it with everyone.
Gadget For Babies


8:21 AM

Blogger Gabriella said...

Awwwww...such sweet things that you've written. And no I'm not being sarcastic, they are really sweet.
And if I get to brag about Samantha I'd say that she too is just so cute and adorable and I think is just sooooo smart!!!

8:48 AM

Blogger Laural Dawn said...

The Dictator does sound like a complete adorable fantastic genius!! And, I love how much you love her and talk about her. Really and truly she sounds awesome. And, it probably is a reflection of you. You should have said that part too.
And, since you are offering a place to brag ...
My son is freaking adorable. And he is smart. Every day I pick him up at daycare (which is almost every day) someone tells me how smart or how cute he is.
He is totally extroverted and so friendly and outgoing. He's not afraid to talk to people. And, the other thing that amazes me about him is that he sees past things. Like, he'll see someone with a visible disability who people are avoiding making eye contact with and he will go say hi. Just because he loves people and he doesn't see anything different. I LOVE that about him.
And he can sing his ABC's, count to 10 and do a million other cool and cute and adorable things.
And, thank God, I am finally feeling like a pretty good parent. I went through like 2 years of thinking that every other parent out there is better than me, and now he's just so adorable that I think maybe I am doing something right. Maybe - or maybe it is all him.
Hey - that was fun!

10:32 AM

Anonymous Dawn said...

WELL... Finally I don't feel so alone! I honestly feel that it should be legal for mothers to kidnap people for the sole purpose of having someone to brag about your kids to. I'm thinking it is not unreasonable of me to have someone tied to a chair in my living room so I can go to them when I feel the urge & say "look how wonderful my kids are!" I mean I'd feed them & stuff. I would let them call someone to stop people worrying about them but I think I am justified & it would stop me feeling like I'm gonna burst all the time.
I have a 7 year old daughter who is amazing and I thought was the most wonderful human being on the planet...Then surprise I had my son and who would have known, he's just as amazing!!!!!!! Boy am I so in love with my kids I feel like shouting it from the rooftops!
Now I do feel a bit better.

Gotta run now, I have to bring some water to the captive ;)

2:06 PM

Blogger metro mama said...

Actually, there is someone else you can brag to. And they won't barf.


3:17 PM

Blogger Her Bad Mother said...

I say, brag away. Brag loud, brag proud.

The Dictator sounds like an amazing little girl. I should know, because I too have an amazing little girl. Hooray for amazing little girls!

5:59 PM

Anonymous mothergoosemouse said...

I so did NOT barf. I think I need to meet the Dictator, because I want her to tell me stories.

I just love love LOVE my girls to pieces. They are so different and so wonderful and I can't even come up with specifics except to say that just the thought of them makes me tear up.

7:38 PM

Blogger Jenn said...

I love listening to little kids make up stories. It fascinates me when they use their imagination. My boys are autistic, and lack the ability to make up a story. They can retell a story verbatim, but cannot make one up out of nothing.

I still love them more than life itself though. And did I mention that they are positively brilliant?
My 5 yr old began identifying letters at 11 months old.
He taught himself how to tell time at age 3. He can count upwards of 1000 and knows how fast airplanes go and how to find Germany on a globe. He is funny and brilliant and mine. There, how's that for a brag? My 4 yr old is brilliant in other ways. He has the vocabulary of an adult and speaks in such a way that you can't help but laugh at the complex things he utters at the most bizarre times. Their teachers think they are clever little beasts. I absolutely *know* it! And of course the baby is extraordinary. He got ice cream today - just for being cute. [/brag]

11:32 PM

Blogger sunshine scribe said...

I love it when parents brag. But maybe that's because it gives me permission to do the same without inciting the barf reflex.

Yay for the Dictator. She is a smart, cute, amazing little girl.

And in the name of blog bragging ... happy to report that I have the worlds cutest, smartest, funniest, most loveable 5 year old boy.

5:07 AM

Blogger Drea said...

Haha thats hilarious.
I think its a rule to brag a little on your child ;-) especially when 98% of what they do is cute under the age of 2.
You just cant help it!!

Now what I think its even more annoying that people getting bored w/ you bragging on your child...etc..etc... is when a person gets MAD at you because you ask a question about their child out of sheer concern.

Example: I asked a friend of mine if they found out what was wrong with her daughters dry skin?

Bad question to ask?!
I didnt think so. Its been chatted about around the church nursery since the child was born. I figured I'd just ask the mom instead of going behind her back trying to find out. Cause I seriously was curious.

When i asked her this she gave me a look and sorta rolled her eyes saying "Its just dry skin."

Since then she has been stand off-ish and wont hardly speak to me.

HELLOOOO! It was just a question. Its not like I said "Your child has the most discusting dry skin Ive ever seen!!!! what is wrong with her!?"

I mean seriously people you should not get so defensive.

Any how. Her child is very cute. Shes just now turning a year. but I do have a hard time believing she just has "dry" skin. The child turns red if you touch her because her skin is so dry. Not just "dry" skin to me.

Just my opinion tho.

Wow I just went on a tangent there.

But no. I think its perfectly okay to brag about your child :-)

After all they are your everything.

Oh and um I disagree my child is wayyy cuter ;-) JUST KIDDING.

See ya hehe

OW wait I forgot to leave a brag about my kid like you instructed:

1) He isnt even two years old yet he is going poopie on the potty! WOO!!
2) He slept through the night by a week and 1\2 old! double woo!

5:36 AM

Blogger Mega Mom said...

Blogs were made for bragging, don't cha think? Then you don't have to be annoying to others..if they don't want to read, they don't have to!

She sounds like a bunch of fun. boys are the cutest, smartest, most wonderful boys in the world!

6:29 AM

Blogger Blog-o-licious said...

My step daugher will be 16 in a couple of weeks and she has pretty hair....did I mention she is 16? PLEASE do not interpret that "as I don't like her" she is 16 for cryin out loud. Our goal is to have her make it to every birthday there after until she is 140.

6:46 AM

Anonymous wendy boucher said...

Thank you. I believe that you have hit upon the best reason for moms to blog. The Dictator sounds brilliant and adorable. I won't brag here because I do it all the time at my own place. But thanks for the opportunity and the reminder that blogging is all about our own selfish motives and we should celebrate it.

7:37 AM

Blogger Pendullum said...

I say it is a celebration of each new phase...
And I love hearing about my daughter's accomplishments just as I love hearing about her friends...just as I love hearing my girlfriends telling me about their wee ones..
And as long as you are open to everyone climbing the mountain in their own style, to their own beat... ENJOY ENJOY!!!!

2:36 PM

Anonymous Jen said...

I find the brag thing tough too. People who read my blog who know my kids say stuff like "you never say that your kids are smart and cute" and I'm all "well, of course they are - that's assumed." But if it's not assumed, let me go on record as saying that my kids are smart and gorgeous. They will be the world's first supermodel/olympian/brain surgeons to solve world hunger.

7:04 PM

Blogger Mommy off the Record said...

Awww. Your little girl sounds wonderful and what better place than your blog to brag about her! That's like 50% of what mommy bloggers do, right?

My little guy just learned to say "dat", which is a combo of cat and dog and which he uses to label any small animal. I am claiming it as his first word no matter what anyone says!

11:12 PM

Anonymous Kathy said...

Just found your blog, what a great read!

7:00 AM

Blogger Food Mum said...

I love that term - blog brag. i feel like doing it all the time cos I'm convinced that my kids are so funny, clever, gorgeous - more so than any others in the whole wide world... except yours of course.

It's biological - we're genetically programmed to brag and think that the mewling, puking bundle in our arms is cute...otherwise what hope for the human race. Anyway I'm off to blog brag at my place

9:33 AM

Blogger J's Mommy said...

No barfing here. It's nice to actually read about a mom who loves her child that much. I see and hear so many sad stories about bad mommies and how they treat their kids that it's refreshing and important to brag.

11:50 AM

Blogger kim said...

I think your baby sounds adorable and smart and sweet :)
I just realised I do so much complaining about my BT (Baby Terror)he just turned 2.... that I probably havent told people how incredibly bright and cute and smart and funny and adorable he is... more so right now because hes napping :)

2:37 PM

Blogger JennC said...

The Dictator sounds like quite the cool kid. How could you not brag about her?...

Let's see: My kids are really good at Fighting! And Bickering! And Whining!

I am such a proud mom.

No seriously. My son (7) is first in his class. His year end report card had nothing but A's in it... He is the down to earth/tidy one in the family...

My daughter (5)? She is everyone's friend. She is so personable and so generous that everyone just wants to be with her. She's the creative, messy one.

I wouldn't change a thing... Well, except for the bickering. That sort of sucks.

1:39 AM

Anonymous Irish Traveller said...

Heh... great points. So can I brag here? :-) My daughter is about to turn 10, she's got great artistic talent (some of her oil paintings blow me away), she's got a great heart and not a mischeivous/mean bone in her body. We're really blessed.

10:39 AM

Blogger Kristin said...

Nope, no barfing here... I too love the small ladder from the pocket stunt and may actually try to teach it to my daughter so she can impress others and take credit for your girl's cleverness!

11:11 AM

Blogger Rebecca said...

Your daughter does sound like the cutest, smartest little girl!

Fortunately, I have boys!! My 10 yr old (good lord I have a TEN YEAR OLD!) is extremely creative, sensitive beyond his years, loving and is MOMMAS BOY - except in public! Haha!

My 18 mo. old has the cutest dimples EVA (everyone says so!), says HI and BYE! to everyone he meets and is disappointed if they don't answer, is starting to understand what the potty is for (even if he pees next to it instead of in it), and gives the best hugs and sloppy baby kisses in the whole world!

12:47 PM

Anonymous MOTP - mother of the pants in the family said...

I think the Dictator sounds wonderful! and, by the way, I love that you call her the Dictator - what else are they?

Now, ahem.... My daughter, Madeleine, who is going to be 4 in September, has been my pride and joy to brag about for the past almost 4 years. Before she was born, I wasn't really into kids - but now.... a complete change. They are wonderful, fun, funny, and smart! I've never laughed so much in my life, as I do over her.

1 story.... she loves to perform, we - any adults around - are her audience, and she spends a lot of time telling the audience, where to sit, and how to act, in anticipation of her performance. Then, she'll say something like, "I'm not ready yet" and the audience has to sit waiting, until she has, idunno, found her inspiration? Then we are all treated to her made up songs about her life. She usually starts with "my life, my heart my love" and takes it from there.

I laugh..... wish you could all hear her - she is sooo talented!

3:47 PM

Anonymous Jen said...

I love it! My kids are the best. My nearly 7 year old worries about how he won't be in this world anymore after he dies (what's that??) and my three year old has decided that we are "best friends".

Nothing tops it!

8:10 PM

Blogger Kristen said...

How could you NOT love The Dictator- she sounds AMAZING!

Leah, my daughter is 15 months old and has been talking since she was 6 months old- we'd walk into her room in the morning and she'd say "Hey!" So cute!

Now, she'll repeat practically anything she hears, which includes music - so she sings along to some of my favorite songs (and she even has a few of her own favs- "Crazy" by Gnarles Barkley her current). She loves the water, and has become obsessed with the pool and dunking herself under water.

That's it. Bragged out for now. LOL.

8:36 PM

Blogger Ali said... know what i love (read: hate more than anything)?? mommy revisionist history.

y'all know what i'm talking about...when mothers get together and conveniently remember their babies infancies as being much better and hitting milestones way earlier...just so they can out-baby and out-mother all the others...

" baby was walking at 11 months"
"Well, mine was walking at 10"
"well..i've got you beat...mine was walking, quoting shakespeare AND sitting on the potty at 9 months. so there. i win!"


seriously, Rebecca, Rowan sounds like such a fun, smart and cute little person. you must love to have her around.

8:56 AM

Blogger Anjali said...

Oh, I just wrote a really bragging post on my blog called "A Memory Game." I just couldn't help myself.

8:19 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am all for PROUD PARENTHOOD, but what I don't get is Dads as great as some of them are just never get how to really brag about their kids.

My son is just under three and his reasoning skills are just working over time. The other day he asked "Mom where did my puddle go."
so fast thinking on my part I told him Mr. Sun was thirsty and needed a drink. So he turn and looks up a the sky and say "Mr. Sun don't drink my puddle, cause I want to splash rocks." Leave it to a kids to make you realize the sometimes a puddle is more fun than the sun.

Did I mention he is the cutest loving boy that can't wait to give you a hug. And I'm going to take every one of them because I know it won't be long before he says yuck!

12:36 PM

Blogger Monkey's Mama said...

Thanks for giving me permission to brag, Rebecca! I'm so sensitive to doing that - because I worry that just TALKING about what my little toddler's been up to lately can be construed as bragging by some people. After Chloe goes to bed, my husband and I often stay up and just chat about how amazing she is. :)

Chloe is 20 months old and loves to communicate - she has so many words and I love watching her learn to string them together to try and tell me about her thoughts. She's such a loving little girl - every night when she goes to bed she gives me a great big monkey hug and tells me goodnight in the sweetest little voice. Then she cuddles as many of her stuffed animals in her arms and under her body as she can. After I leave the room, I almost always her her talking and singing to them.

1:40 PM

Anonymous Mum Downunder said...

Here's my brag about 'high maintenance'

She is a great dancer. I mean she has got some great moves. I have no idea where she gets this talent from. She spins around, poses, pauses and moves to the rhythm of the music with accuracy. She puts me to shame....sometimes when she's dancing hubby and I will look at each other in a way that we know each other is thinking the same thing "our could this be?"

7:28 AM

Blogger jess said...

what a great idea! you actually made it cool to brag about our kids. right on!

12:00 PM

Anonymous mia said...

you can't brag to your friends with kids and you can't brag to your friends without kids but the best people to brag to are your parents and grandparents. my parents could listen to how cute and funny (etc. etc.) my son is. whenever i get the urge i just call my parents, they love it.

11:29 AM


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